Something That Will Last
by Sam Cuddles
Summary: He never thought she would feel this heavenly in his arms. [ON HIATUS]
1. Chapter 1

Decided to stop being a lurking reader and take a plunge into writing #SoEulMates!

Set where that evil phone cut-off what could have been their first kiss. What if it didn't ring at that particular moment?!

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**_!~ If you're not the one, then why does my soul feel glad today?_**

**_If you're not the one, then why does my hand fit yours this way? ~!_**

"Ga Eul! Do you want to try it?"

He held his broken hand out to her, his face relaxed, open and somewhat appearing peaceful. It was a shocking transformation from the darkness that filled his eyes and his heart not so long ago. The old Yi Jeong was starting to resurface from beneath the beast that possessed him. That teasing glint in those mesmerizing eyes, the relaxed posture of his broad shoulders to that dazzling smile, nowhere healed completely from his physical nor his psychological scars; he was breaking through the darkness that chained him down. Perhaps that what acceptance felt like.

She had first met him while he was in denial. A playboy by nature and a man-made Casanova, he had scoffed at words like 'soul mates' ,'true love' and 'happily ever after'. When he had discovered his lost childhood sweetheart, he was angry, raging for what he had let slip through his careless grip, bargaining for a second chance, begging for a do-over and she had been scared to see how far was he willing to go to get her back. No sooner than he found his first love, he knew he missed his chance and she had found someone else falling into a bottomless well of depression, wallowing in misery and self destruction; hitting rock-bottom when he fell to his knees at that rooftop, the beast freed from his chains, letting out an anguished cry for a past that no amount of money, power or charm could change. Despite their powerful status in society, all the F4 members were powerless against fate and their old mistakes. And now she was seeing him accept what he had done, laying his ghost to rest, willing to start over, work on his broken hand, broken future, offering her a chance to share that first yet most important step with him. All she had to do was take his hand.

The hand that had dragged her everywhere. From the first time they have met and even through their darkest hours, almost as if he felt a need to wrap that smooth strong grip around her wrist, gently yet firmly imposing his strong dominating presence in her personal space. He wasn't like Jun Pyo, forcefully dragging his girlfriend around like a ragged doll, almost dislocating her shoulder from its socket. No Yi Jeong tugged and for a brief fleeting second, sides brushed, that disarming boyishly smug smile before he led away forcing the other to play clumsy catch up. Same hand that circled her waist, hoisting her up to ride that horse, strong capable hand that settled over hers possessively while he was offering her to his womanizing father.

He saw her hesitation, after all why would a sane person knowingly put his hand in the ones offered by the devil himself. Everytime he had offered her his hand, he had dragged her into his crazy dark world. Dragging her off her shop, tucking her hand in his elbow after their first fake 'date', dragging her from the hellish experience at the club to step into the nightmare that was his family. His hands were priceless, brought beauty and life into still objects, molding a life to suit his artistic whims and taste; yet all his now shattered limb brought to her was heartbreak, tears and absolute humiliation. She`s been patient, giving and a silent strong pillar of unwavering support; things he didn't understand how she was capable of after what he had done but he knew deep down, always have that Ga Eul was the lifeline he had looked for after Eun Jae vanished and now he was admitting that. A hard cruel lesson she had delivered. Regret. And his hand might not be as lost to him as he first thought.

That`s why he had rung her earlier. Vague and short he had kept the conversation, gathering the courage, knowing she could turn down the invitation, to ask her over. He had dangled enough for her to capture the bait and agree to see him. He had waited and waited, convinced that she changed her mind after two hours have passed. He had laid the clay on the floor, rolling his expensive silky pants up, stepping out of his Italian shoes and socks. Barefoot, he molded the clay, stepping on it until it lay a big circle between his working tables. Never one to care how his time was spent, he had kept stepping on the slowly softening clay until the distinctive click of heels walking closer to his door caught his attention. He had seen her stand, hesitant and still at his doorsteps, probably second-guessing her decision to come after all but banking on her peaked curiosity had paid off. He knew she was afraid to step into the place that caused her the most pain. Here is where he scoffed of at her so-called perfect match, walked over her blossoming feelings before rejecting all together with reasons and so-called conditions made by a boy he no longer is. Unbeknownst to her, this is where he set out in a drunken rage to break her, show her a side that even his friends were not privy to, he was grateful that he hadn't succeed in doing so.

He liked her just the way she was. Innocent, a bit naive, giving and annoyingly stubborn. After all, she wouldn't be Ga Eul without those traits. He was tempted to put her on the spot, call out her name to force her to come in. He had wanted her to come to him by her own free will not out of obligation or embarrassment and she did, entering the workshop in her pink coat and knee-length sheer socks. He had told her of his hands, that he might not be as good as he once was; delighted by her determination to not let that happen. Her concern for him didn't stem from wanting his money or power or by his good looks, she genuinely cared and wanted to see him whole, warming him. How many could say that when they`ll be stripped of titles, money, power and status that they`ll have someone accepting them! He told her he will not give up and that he`ll start working again, that regret was something very difficult to live with. He hoped she understood what he conveyed by that. He didn't want to regret how things turned out with her. Whether they were destined to be friends or more, he wanted to mend the fences with her, put the hurtful past behind them and continue from there. So he offered his hand for her to join him, an olive branch to stop being against each other.

It never wavered as he waited, baiting her with his smile to step in his world. She set her bag on the bench near her, unbuttoning her coat before shrugging it off. He was a man, and he had seen his fair share and more of women. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, tall, short, slim, curvaceous and he had deemed himself a legs man. Free of her coat, her skirt was two inches over her knees; giving him an irresistible view of her long smooth legs, legs he had seen in Caledonia. Ga Eul was not a supermodel. She was short, face not sickeningly skinny, body that was too curvaceous to be a tall lanky model. Her skin while smooth and flawless, her features were delicate. Big doe eyes advertising her innocence and kindness, round cheeks always tinted a rosy hue around him ending with a set of kissable pouty lips.

_Kissable? Breathe you horny bastard!_

Bending down, she undid the clasps of her shoes, slipping them off before neatly stacking them to the side. She looked up, looking at his still outstretched hand before slowly sliding her smaller one over it. The smooth skin of her palm burned him, sending jolts all through his body, igniting it to life. He waited, as she slid one pair of silky pair of socks past her calf, stepping out of it, repeating the same with the other. Gulping he pulled to step on the clay, watching in amusement as she tried not to put her whole weight as she stepped.

"How do you expect to mold it if you walk on air? I called you for those strong legs of yours, Ga Eul-yang!"

Instant blush adorned her cheeks. He let go of her hand, stuffing his in his pockets, resisting the urge to run his knuckles over the pink skin. She awakened things that laid dormant with her simple shy manners. Leaning over her to do her seatbelt just to see her squirm, putting that lipstick on her, twirling a strand of hair in a dark movie theater on that decoy date, smiling brilliantly as a simple show of fireworks put a sparkle in her eyes. He had more fun on that fake date than the ones he had for real. She was easy to please. He knew girls like Ga Eul preferred a word, a touch over fancy dresses, diamonds or extravagant gifts.

She mimicked his actions, pressing down more surely on the clay. She barely reached his chin, her face would be perfectly nestled in the crock of his neck, if she had the urge to do so. Uncomfortably, he was aware of how close she was, or maybe he had drifted closer to her, he didn't know, wasn't sure he wanted to. He was aware he chased her at first, refreshingly surprised by her lack of attention and cold brush off over So Yi Jeong, the sole heir to the So family. Wealth, talent, power and devastating good looks. It was a fun game to chase her around the island to annoy her all until he saw her crying in the streets and he had stepped down from his perch as the puppet master and became involved. Charity case, he had reminded himself. That he did this because this was the best friend of his best friend`s girlfriend, that she unwillingly grew on him and for a mere commoner she wasn't that bad.

"Me wanting to hear the bad new first, how did you know that?"

"Because all girls want happy endings."

He looked at her, seeing her smile. They both knew that her wanting to hear the worst first was because she believed in the ultimate goodness and that all things would work out someway in the end.

Whether by quick reflexes or sheer instinct, his arm shot out, curving around her waist; catching her before her body fell and hit the ground. Her foot must have slipped on the softening clay. One hand rested against her back, the other grasped her elbow tight, bringing her body up and closer to his own. It burned him through his shirt where she grasped at his arm, curling around to hold on to him while the other rested against his stomach. Her skin flushed under his pensive gaze, color adorning her cheeks, averting her eyes shyly an action that caused an involuntary smile to break out. He knew she was innocent, not just in way of thinking but physically as well. All of her manners, looks and the instant blush suggested that Ga Eul`s experience didn't go beyond a kiss and maybe less while his would make her die of mortification if he recited them.

"I am definitely a cool guy but I am not a nice one!" He wasn't. Despite his money and status, his reputation as a ladies man was almost as famous as his pottery. He didn't do relationship, proved he couldn't by letting Eun Jae leave. If it was a night of selfish pleasure, he was eligible but when it came down to commitments, he was out. After all, why bother building a relationship with someone, love them when at the end he was going to marry someone of his grandfather`s choosing.

He wasn't blind to her feelings for him, ones she harbored after he avenged her broken heart and wounded pride only to go ahead and do it himself, with a cunning and deviousness much worse than that jerk she called a boyfriend. A wolf in sheep`s clothes, he gave her a false sense of security before shocking her, showing her his true colors. But now it seemed that karma was out to avenge Ga Eul heartbreak caused by him.

"Throw away your misconception that all nice girls want nice guys" Her words stirred something in him, a reluctance he once had to starting something serious with this girl was diminishing the longer she stayed in his arms. On one hand, Ga Eul was worth doing right by. To start a thing with her, one should be willing to go to the end and he couldn't and it wasn't fair to her. On the other hand, never did he think that she would feel absolutely heavenly pressed close to him in his arms and he wanted nothing more that lean down and press his lips against her own. His eyes followed the train of thought his brain was tormenting him with, sliding from her doe-eyes down the slope of her nose to settle on her lips, glossy and parted slightly.

She didn't know how can one be burning from the inside yet remain perfectly intact from the outside. Her heart thudded painfully against her ribs, well aware that the object of its affections was holding her in his arms. His eyes seemed dark, intense as he looked at her and she felt her knees weaken when he shifted his attention lower, her stomach tightening as he leaned forward, eyes partially closed, slowly descending giving her a chance to step back and break away. Here she was in the arms of the famous So potter, about to receive her first kiss ever.

He saw her eyes close, lashes fluttering against her cheeks as her lips became closer. Nervous to kiss her, a very odd yet compelling feeling caused him to wound control around his raging emotions. If he kissed her like his body demanded, he`d scare her out of her wits. He felt her warm breath hit his face as he leaned the last inch closer and pressed his lips to the corner of her own, her skin so smooth and soft beneath his lips. Swallowing, he titled his head, finally pressing lips to lips, feeling his control threatening to snap as her hand curled further, bunching the expensive silky shirt in her hand. Feeling bold by her not pushing him away from her, he let go of her elbow, hand travelling high, disappearing in her silky strands like he always wanted to, wrapping around her nape to keep her in place. He shifted, hand clenching and he gently nudged her closed lips open, nipping at the full flesh, feeling her start to respond more eagerly.

He robbed her of air, his assault so painfully gentle. He took his time, sampling, tasting and committing the feeling to memory. Never had a kiss spun him so out of control, a kiss from a virgin no less. Tugging at her lips, teeth scraped against the moist flesh teasingly before resting his forehead against hers, his heart pounding in ears.

"Sunbae.." her voice soft, husky. He wanted her to say his name like that. Needy, wanting and trembling.

"Say my name Ga Eul" He murmured against her lips, close enough to tease her. He wasn't sure though, who was being tortured; her or him.

At any moment, she was sure, she will wake up breathless from this dream but the strong heartbeat under her palm was so strong, so real and it belonged to the man she loved who had kissed her. She felt devoured, thoroughly kissed and she wanted more.

"Ga Eul..." he waited, he`d wait all night. Some irrational part of him wanted to hear his name without the honorific title from that husky voice of hers. Hoping to encourage or maybe it was an excuse to touch her more, he dropped a kiss on her warm cheek, on both eyelids, brushing her nose with his; he placed a kiss at the top of her nose, something he wanted to do when he had seen her standing in the cold outside his place, waiting to give him chocolates. Ignoring the swollen flesh that begged to be ravished again, he nuzzled her jaw, trailed kisses across her neck, as much s her high-collar shirt allowed him to. He inhaled the sweet smell of her hair, groaning as he did.

His warm breath as he kissed her earlobe was the final nail, and her body instinctively leaning against his for support. His touches weakening her. Her foggy fuzzy mind could barely formulate a coherent thought as his nimble fingers unbuttoned the top three buttons on her plain white shirt, well aware of how out of control it had gotten, yet helpless to stop him or stop her body`s reaction as he snared her in a warm dizzying spell. He felt like he was floating, both of them as two basic beings who only knew how touch not how to think rationally, how for a first kiss things were spiraling out of control.

"So soft, so warm" He murmured huskily against her the base of her neck, his teeth finding a fleshy spot and biting down lightly, sending liquid fire through her veins with a simple touch.

She purred with recklessness "Yi Jeong..."

It swirled, stole his thoughts and sparked a warmth at the base of his spine. A warmth that stumbled him, humbled him as she stole him from the loneliness and made him real. Made him wish, for a moment, an instant that he was normal and prefect and the man she wanted him to be.

He blew past her, pressing his lips against hers in an urgency that surprised him. Wasting no time, he traced her teeth, lips and tentatively sought to meet her tongue with his own. If you had asked him last night, hell twenty minutes ago if he would be frenching with Ga Eul with her actually allowing it, he would say you`re a nut job. Her hands circled around his neck, bringing her body closer and flush against his. He kissed her with a freedom he never felt before, picked her up with ease to settle her against one of the workbenches, his hands circling her back, his kiss feverish as his touch. He wanted to lay her back sprawled against the wood, pry her legs apart and lay atop of her, run his hands all over her eagerly responding body, making her his, marking her as his.

She was his and his alone.

The shrill tune annoyed him and he sought to bury his face in her neck and inhale that intoxicating smell of hers again.

"Umah! What?" He stopped and stilled, listening to her talk on the phone, her mother`s voice rushed and panicked. Did she know her daughter was a minute away of being defiled and ravished? That a young rich man had his hand under her baby girl`s skirt, caressing her bare thighs, dangerously close to..

_Under her skirt!_

"I understand. I`ll be right there!"

She clicked the phone shut and sighed. Her body tensed and wound tight and whatever her mother had told her, had clearly upset her.

He drew back, hovering over, his hands now resting on her shoulders, trying to resist diving back for a kiss.

"Something wrong?"

Her hands were now buttoning her shirt and he felt guilty for going this far with her. On her first kiss no less.

"I should go home!"

"I`ll drive you" he saw her reach for the rest of her stuff. Socks, shoes, coat and bag dawned quickly and efficiency like she couldn`t get away from him fast enough.

"No! I got it" She bowed slightly, barely looking at him before she made her escape. And he stood wondering what the hell had happened in the last minute? And why it hurt him to feel her rejection over a simple offer to drive her home?

**_ If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?_**

_**Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?**_

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Comments of all types are welcomed :)


	2. Chapter 2

**_~!Lying here with you so close to me_**  
**_It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe_**  
**_Caught up in this moment_**  
**_Caught up in your smile~!_**

It didn't take him long to snap out of his thoughts before he followed her out; barefoot. He noted that this was the second time he had ran after she left his studio; once on Valentine`s day and now. A self-confessed Casanova, that blew hot and cold, his mood mercurial and his temperaments unpredictable at best was running after what he once deemed as a silly country bumpkin that was not his type. He bristled to how one simple naive girl could wield such power over him. He had sworn to never be at the mercy of another woman be it his mother or one of his playmates.

For someone who seemed in a hurry to get away from him and go home, she had not gotten as far as he had originally thought. Easily, he caught up with her, grasping her elbow to halt her movement. He was in no way ready to the jolt that traveled from his fingertips to his heart as if he had been shocked back to life, his heartbeats thudding almost painfully against his ribs, threatening to break them. She turned, confused and still ever so beautifully blushing and the urge to take her again and again was consuming him. She looked so good and he had no memory of a woman who made him so out of control, so emotionally and physically aware of how perfect she was. She had managed to snare him tight, right into her web of innocence and simplicity. She managed all of that while he was unaware, he had been too busy breaking hearts and chasing ghosts that she managed to slip past his walls and settle right into his cold beating heart.

Damn her! Damn her with her big doe eyes and thoroughly kissed luscious lips.

"Ga Eul!" He dropped his hand. After all what use touching her would do other than tempt fate and tempt himself. She was.._is.._forbidden fruit. She`s innocent, naive and is in his circle of trusted friends. Three rules.. three strikes against her.. he had to keep reminding himself that.

_She felt heavenly and her kiss is so damn addictive..._His treacherous body provided. _Warm, loving and absolutely perfect. _His heart added.

"It`s late. I`ll drive you home!" There was absolutely no way he was going to let her walk alone at this late hour. Either she`d agree voluntarily or he`d throw her over his shoulder and put her in the car himself. And the thought of her over his shoulder, her butt in the air, wriggling and struggling and demanding to be let down ignited his body and he felt warm.

Damn her for the emotion she evoked.

She stood there, gazing at a point somewhere over his shoulder. She could not find it in her to have the courage to look up into the most intense dark eyes. He had the body of a god, the smile of a devil and the eyes of dark abyss inviting one to be lost in their depths forever.

"That`s ok. I can go by mysel.." her sentence trailed as he dragged her back into his studio, locking the door firmly behind him, his hard steely gaze daring her to open it and run. Resigned to her fate, she leaned back on the table as he disappeared to wash the clay from his feet and get dress. As if electrocuted, she quickly moved away from the table, the same table he had her on minutes ago, with his lips on her neck and his hand under her skirt and hovering dangerously high on her bare thigh.

What had she done? What she had been almost about to do? She let him have her first kiss and she kissed him back, shamelessly, openly and with tongue. _Jan Di would freak then high kick him all the way to China._ She had been lost in a hazy and dizzying spell as he wreaked havoc on her senses, overwhelming her with how good it felt, how good it would feel to given in to him; a master of pleasure, and an expert in women of all kinds. It absolutely scared her how her body seemed willing to surrender to his touch, just as long as he was there to catch her.

The thought gave her a pause from the feverish thoughts of their tangled limbs on his black satin that called out for her to be fulfilled. It was a kiss. Whilst her first, it had been one of many... worse one of any. His reputation as a cold Casanova entitled thousands of kisses and uncountable nights of physical pleasure. Sure he kissed, quite passionately but was she in danger of reading too much into it as she had previously done when he offered her a chance to avenge her broken heart that resulted in eliminating him as an annoying arrogant rich spoiled boy who was used to getting his way to someone she felt warm next to, to whom her eyes wandered around the room looking for him and who she believed was someone she could love.

It was clear it didn't mean anything and she was suddenly happy she had not embarrassed herself. She was reacting to a kiss he initiated. _Stupid!_ she hit the side of her head, cringing at how wanton she acted but it felt she was floating out of her body and all that was left was a body burning by his touch. _Naive little miss innocent._ No wonder he had said no to a date with her, the disaster one he forced her on notwithstanding . She was nothing but a little kid who hung around him like a little puppy. Always showing up to his studio, dreamy eyes and a stupefied smile.

Why would So Yi Jeong; playboy extraordinaire be interested in someone like her?

"Kaja!" He appeared and she squared her shoulders, her face void of any trace of the confusion or the battle going between her head and heart not knowing he had been a witness to her latest moments before he made his presence known. He briskly walked to the door, holding it open for her, his mask in place. The wind blew as she passed him on the way out, carrying her flowery scent to him and he gripped the door tight and against his better judgment he inhaled the sweet aroma. Swallowing hard, he followed her, turning his keys to lock the doors. They walked in silence to his orange Lotus, his hands in his pockets, hers inside her pink coat. Ever the gentleman or maybe it was a habit being the ladies man he was, he unlocked the door, opened it for her and waited for her to step inside. Her eyes caught his just before she disappeared inside his car, so full of things he had not seen before; so unguarded. He didn't close the door but choose to corner her and maybe, just maybe he`d be able to figure what in the hell was happening to him tonight? To them?

Grabbing the seat belt, he tugged and laid it across her chest to strap it in and hold her to the leather chair securely. He lingered, his face once again hidden in her shiny locks, her pulse point so close to his lips. How he wanted to kiss her again, touch her again and maybe just maybe he`d get her out of his system, since booting her out of his life was something he was not ready to do.. no scratch that.. something he was not willing to do.

She blinked, swallowed hard and blinked again. His face was so close to her again. His scent and cologne filling her nostrils and lungs. She felt warmth starting to spread across her skin, her face no doubt as red as Jun Pyo`s sport car, all because of his close proximity. Stupid Yi Jeong and his stupid cologne. Unknowingly, she shuddered, her senses overwhelmed by him.

"Cold?" his face was now looking directly at her, and in the narrow space of his stupid car, she could no longer avoid his eyes. Not trusting her voice and certainly not willing to tell him she was not cold but in fact warm... so very warm at that moment. He closed her door and she didn't register that he was no longer across her fastening her seat belt until his broad shoulder bumped into her and she was reminded again that his car was as small as a cardboard box. The rush of warm air caressed her skin as he started the car and drove to her house. She watched the city lights pass quickly as the Lotus spread her wings and was close to flying off the ground. A junkie for speed, she had gotten used to Yi Jeong`s driving after the first few times he had driven her around. Even Woo Bin was less reckless than the man next to her. The car stopped at a red light and their eyes met in the window.

"Is everything ok at home?" he glanced at her as he maneuvered the car smoothly. He saw her bite her lip, probably thinking if it is safe to trust him with her family issues. Not wanting to pressure her, he opened his mouth to apologize for noising in her personal business but stopped as she started talking.

"Umma said that appa had been forced to resign from his work." His eyes narrowed and he looked at her profile, seeing the defeated look on her face, shoulder slumped and so small in the leather seat. She screamed vulnerability and she was strapped in with a wolf nearby. "How can they force him?"

"I don`t know. Umma said to come home immediately."

"You`d tell me if you need help. Won`t you?" He had less than two minutes with her before he reached her house.

"Yi Jeong Sunbae! I am sure we`ll manage!" Her polite refusal stung. That was the second time she had rejected his help and both times hurt like a bitch. He knew Ga Eul was too proud to ask for help for her own sake, yet she had asked him to help when he was competing against Jan Di in a swimming competition. She had too much pride to ask for help from him or any of the F4 if the matter was concerning her. And again he was reminded that Ga Eul never looked like she was after fame, money or power that came with her association with four of the most influential , most powerful, most handsome and richest young men in Korea.

"Ga Eul! " One moment he would be as calm as a cucumber and the next as raging as the sea tides. The man beside her was a ticking bomb and she had no idea when or where or how he would blow up. Her house loomed ahead, the neighborhood quiet as most would be sleeping. He was reminded that she had a school night the next morning.

As soon as he parked the car, she had her seat belt off and would have succeeded in making a run for it had his arm been slow to catch her. A vice grip wrapped around her china like wrist, too delicate.. too fragile looking.

"Is it because I kissed you?" He blurted out. Gone was the smooth talker, the 5 seconds kill, the heartbreaking Casanova and instead an insecure boy chasing a stubborn skirt was left in place. What she had reduced him to? He sneered in disgust at himself. Who was she to have so much control over him? Just who did she think she was?

"It`s just a kiss Ga Eul! Friends kiss. It`s no big deal!" _Liar! _Just like with the chocolate on Valentine`s day... just like when he rejected her.. he aimed low and he aimed well. Heart on her sleeves, Ga Eul was an easy target to take down and what way better to rebel against her hold than mock what he knew very well to be her first kiss.

_Scum Yi Jeong. You`re no better than her good for nothing ex-boyfriend._

Her smile was bitter and it was a good thing she spent some time to prepare for his ultimate rejection. For Yi Jeong hated being controlled.. hated not being the one in control. He had stolen her first kiss.. she willingly gave him her first kiss and while he treated it as a normal occurrence, she was going to treasure it and treasure it well. She knew what she was going to do and for that she was happy she had gotten the chance to do everything in her power to win his heart. In a way this was a kiss goodnight... a kiss goodbye..

"Sunbae. I have a school tomorrow so thank you for the ride home. Annyeong" she gently took her hand out of his grip, gathered her bag and was soon heading to the front door. Her lack of reaction had him stumped. He had expected tears.. maybe fighting back.. not this empty acceptance of the _lies_ he just fed her. It was not just a kiss and it certainly was a big deal. He did not expect her to walk with a smile and a head held high unlike the girl that left his studio, her head hanging low and eyes shining with tears. Ga Eul had grown and he felt it was all because of him.

"Pabo!"

His phone rang shrilly in the silent car. 'Woo Bin' flashed on the screen. He leaned back and accepted the call.

"_Yo Yi Jeong! Where are you?"_

"Driving around" The lie slipped so easily..so effortlessly... for some reason he did not want the closest thing he had to a brother to know he is parking outside Ga Eul`s house after dropping her off. "Where are you?" He could hear the deafening noise in the background. Don Juan was at his rightful place. In a bar surrounded by women and booze as should he.

_"At Lady Luck. A new hot club. Yi Jeong-ah...I got a bunch of Swedish models looking for a good time. You coming?" _

"Drinks?" he was mildly interested in gorgeous blonde models... he wanted to get shit faced wasted. He wanted to forget... he needed to forget the Ga Eul who bid him goodnight... maybe forget the Ga Eul he wanted... needed with a burning urgency...

_"All you can drink bar!"_

His decision was made. He looked at her window, the room still dark and he narrowed his eyes into slits, his mouth grim, his knuckles white as he squeezed the steering wheel tight..._I will forget this stupid kiss with the stupid country bumpkin._

_**Meanwhile at the Chu residence: **_

She closed her bedroom door gently and leaned heavily against it. The conversation with her devastated parents left her shell shocked and trembling. Her legs felt like jelly and could no longer hold her up. She slid down the door until she sat down in a heap. Her breathing shallow.. her eyes burning with tears that started to burn her hot cheeks.

_Appa forced to resign..._

_Madame Kang was responsible..._

_Debt collectors are demanding their money by tomorrow or else..._

_Extreme measures..._

_We have no money..._

_Lee Yoon Jae offered to pay off the debts.. clean slate..._

_Your hand in marriage..._

_We`re desperate Ga Eul ..._

How she wished she was back at his studio .. atop of his black satin sheets... tangled in a web of passion and desire...

Anything was better than the nightmare she just stepped into...

"_Yi Jeong... " _Her body shuddered, her sobs muffled behind her hand and she cried... For her parents.. for herslef... for her heart and for what it might have been..

**_Lady Luck Club._**

**_ Two hours later..._**

He had a good buzz in his heavy head... his smile blinding, dimples in full force and it brought women to their knees.. literally. He felt a thin hand reach down the front of his pant, teasingly scrapping above the hard bulge that pushed against the silk of his expensive pants. He looked down, stupid grin on his face as he saw her innocent face.. big doe eyes and ruby red lips, parted to take Yi Jeong Jr in for a taste. He couldn't believe she was doing this to him.. in a club.. maybe it was the temporarily sense of privacy the VIP room offered. His hand itched to be buried in her long smooth hair and he did. Despite his drunken stupor, the strands were short and curled and very much damaged. The hair he remembered...craved..was long...straight most of the time and so very healthy; always shining seductively. He shook his head and focused on her face... Cat like eyes...thin lips.. hot pink lipstick..

He pushed the woman that was not his dream girl away uncaring that she was sprawled on the floor screeching '_Oppa' _ as he adjusted his shirt and grabbed his phone and jacket.. car keys in hand.

Only to be stopped by his soon to be ex-friend if he didn't move.

"Yi Jeong-ah.. Where are you going?"

He clasped his friend`s shoulder, grinning drunkenly at Woo Bin and the two blondes with him.. "To see my Ga Eul"

"Why?" he turned around before he went down the stairs.

"I need my g`night-_hiccup-.._kiss. Going to collect it from that silly bumpkin"

**_~!Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight_**

**_Just a touch of the fire burning so bright_**

**_No, I don't wanna mess this thing up_**

**_I don't wanna push too far!_**

**_Just a shot in the dark that you just might_**

**_Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life!~_**


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks everyone who reviewed and welcomed this fan fiction :)

Here`s the 3rd installment.

Enjoy!

* * *

_**~!I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh**_

_**I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away**_

_**I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well**_

_**I wanna hold you high and steal your pain!~**_

He was back in the same spot he parked in hours ago when he dropped her off. At almost 2 AM, the neighborhood was silent, lights off and probably in dream land by now. His eyes trained on the Chu residence, looking for any sign of life. Just like a normal middle class family, the lights were out, no shadows moving. He leaned forward in his car trying to glimpse at the second floor windows, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Her lights were still on, her ebony head was bowing down from what he could see. She was still awake.

His stomach knotted, and his body was on full alert. The drunken haze lifted a bit and his foggy mind was clearer as he waited in the warmth of his car. The engine still hummed ever so softly, the noise soothing him, filling the silence that would have driven him mad otherwise. Seoul at night was always cold no matter the season. It ranged from nippy wind to full blown north pole freezing. Chances of one getting sick from the cold temperature was always if not 99% of the time, guaranteed. He stepped out of his car, the crisp air refreshing, taking the remains of his stupor several notches. His senses were as sharp despite the fact that he reeked of expensive alcohol and the neat spikes of his hair were in disarray. Damn that cheap girl and her wandering hands.

Locking the car, he cursed at the alarm noise that was now amplified due to the still quietness. He loosened his tie as he held the expensive new model of a phone that was worth more than Ga Eul`s house probably, his finger hovering over the green call icon, debating, contemplating what the hell was he doing or what was he going to say.

_'Oh hey, was hammered at a bar, a girl close to blowing me and I bailed to get a goddamn goodnight kiss from you!'_

Or maybe he could just kiss her. Just pull her flush against his hardened body, capture her lips in a searing burning kiss and allow his hands to roam across her body, commit her to memory to recall when the need arose to relieve some of the 'stress'. Going for the kiss rather than talk her about it seemed like the best course of action. Actions do and will speak louder than words. His steps slowed, the message he was trying to convey in his actions gave him a pause. Just what was he trying to do? Kiss her? Of course. Why? He had no idea why. He knew that little taste in his studio was not enough to satisfy him... sustain him. He only knew he wanted to kiss her again, feel whatever was that he felt again. Would she allow him to kiss her again? Had you asked him that before he blurted out those hurtful untruthful words, he would say chances are she would. Now? He was not sure he would try and walk away unscathed, if not by her reaction, surly Geum Jan Di would do an outstanding job of kicking some sense into him.

_Hell with it..._

He`d rather die first than have anyone know he had Ga Eul`s number of speed dial. For a commitment phobic like him, having a girl that was not your wife nor mother was a big deal and a huge statement. Only one knew of that fact and the amused yet contemplating look Ji Hoo threw him told him his dark secret was safe from the teasing of Woo Bin and Jun Pyo. He stuffed a hand in his pocket, the other pressing the phone, the dialing tune taunting him with each ring. The fourth ring carried her soft confused voice to his ears.

_"Yeoboseyo!"_ Her voice stirred something in him. Something unfamiliar. Never had a word as simple as a greeting evoked such a strong reaction. She wasn't seductive nor an expert in the art of seducing men. She was innocent unaware of her power; making her more dangerous. He could only imagine if she embraced her power and made him a target. He`d fall. Willingly and happily.

"Look outside"

His eyes swung back to her room and he saw her dark mane rise, her achingly beautiful face peeking from the now open window, trying to find him in the dark. He took the precious seconds he had left to look at her. The silver light of the moon cast an ethereal glow and only her would look perfect with nothing but the moonlight as she laid bare on his black satin sheets. _Focus._ Her eyes landed on him and her mouth parted in surprise, like she had not really expected him to actually be there.

_"What are you doing here Sunbae?_"

"I came to see you!" His smile never wavered, his eyes still snaring her and neither, he knew for sure, could look away.. or wanted to for that matter. "You could either come down and meet me or I could just knock on your door until your father lets me in. Your call!"

She stilled, the phone in a relaxed grip, and if he knew her, he`d bet the antique tea set Jun Pyo bribed him with that her face has gone pale white, hands ice cold from the sudden nature of his words. They were not the words of a drunk man, who did not understand just what exactly was he threatening to do. He knew exactly what he wanted and how he will get it. He ended the call, opening the doorway that will lead to their front door, and he knew in less than a minute she`d stop him from ringing the doorbell and knocking.

_Don`t disappoint me baby!_

She didn't.

She didn't know the way she managed to fly down two flight of stairs, sprint to the kitchen backdoor that led to their backyard, circle around the house and stop him from waking her parents and scandalize her reputation and her family`s respectful name. It didn't stop the nervous thoughts that filled her brain, nor the fluttering of her stomach, invaded by swarms of phantom butterflies determined to drive her crazy, to increase her awareness of him, more so than she already was.

His closed fist was ready to knock on the front door. Despite her slight and petite frame, she was so very light on her feet. Almost blurring, she squeezed her body between his and the door, facing him, her still warm hand wrapping around the hand he had raised, halting its descent.

"I am here" She panted, feeling the effect of her rushing around to reach him in time.

_Yes, you are. You`re here!_

"I can see that" His voice gruff, low and sent delicious little shivers down her spine, and her toes wanted to curl inwards. His lips stretched lazily, and if she were to picture a devil`s sensual sinful smirk, Yi Jeong`s face was as a perfect match as one could find. Accompanied by a pair of intense eyes, the man in front of her was sin incarnated and now more than ever, in the shadow of a cold night, she was at her weakest, most vulnerable and oh so very tempted by his powerful presence. His eyes held promises and despite the strong smell of alcohol, they were clear, no trace of confusion. He was as sober as one could get. And that`s what worried her. Anything that was bound to happen could not be blamed on the alcohol. She knew things would happen.

Being filthy rich, he was never in need of anything. From the latest fashion, to the most expensive cars, right down to beauty queens, everything came to him on a platter. Everything but the girl decked in a fluffy pajamas and thick socks. That is until now. Unknowingly she had trapped herself between the door and his body leaving so little space between them. She had no idea how easy it would be for him to take less than a step forward, bring him that last inch until his hard edges met her soft curves and take it from there.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed, trying to ease the rising tension between them, distract him and distract her in the process.

On its own record, his hand brushed some loose strands that escaped her ponytail. _I don't know. It`s like I am compelled to be here. I cant explain it and I want to kiss you ... oh gods do I ever. _"I wanted to see you" His expression softened, his knuckles brushing the rosy cheeks, the skin so soft and smooth under his touch and warm.

"Why?" he was distracted. His thoughts a mess. Worry from his bizarre behavior with a girl he swore not to touch, to a desire for a girl who was unaware of her appeal. His heart and head in a battle, each presenting a valid argument. His heart knew of her warmth and how she stood beside him, pulled him from his darkness, made a man out of a broken shell. She was there, a constant pillar of unwavering support even with his F4 friends were too busy to notice the demons he was battling. His head was buzzing with warning bells. Ga Eul was not like the usual 'wam-bam, thank you ma`am'. He was not built for a lasting relationship. He was born to always have another woman. To be faithfully unfaithful to a girlfriend and a future wife his grandfather would force on him. His blood made sure of that. He had always known he`d destroy Ga Eul and severely wound her spirit. Like father, like son. So men always destroyed women, especially those whom they loved.

_Loved?!_

He swallowed. Hard. The 'L' word has been gone from his dictionary for a quite some time now. He loved his mother, he loves her still despite what she had turned into. He loved Eun Jae. He suspected he would always love her in way that`s suited for a lost first love. Apart from those two women, he had never used it in association with the girls he hung around with. He loved their bodies, revealing clothes and the pleasure they gave him. That was it. Ga Eul had never wore anything revealing apart from the two dresses he bought and those were conservative in comparison with the girls he kept company in bars and clubs. Ga Eul had never gave him pleasure. Only chocolates, tentative shy touches and one helluva kiss. Ga Eul was not Eun Jae and was certainly had no resemblance to his mother. So what made her so special to use that cursed word when he was thinking of her?

_She is no body special! _

_Then why am I here?_

He was silent, his eyes still focused on her face but it looked like he was miles away from here. With a sigh, she dragged him away from the door, going around the house. What use could it be for someone to see her with a man talking and standing as close as they have been at 2 AM in the morning. Nothing but headaches and accusing looks from the old-fashioned elderly people. The fence around their house was high enough to conceal them along with the Changdeokgung tree that was high and thick enough so they would not be seen from the surrounding houses as well as their own.

He allowed her to drag him. Enjoying the warmth of her grip and the strength of her small body as it tried to drag him away to a less public area. He wanted to laugh. Was this how commoners who wanted to see their commoner girls sneaked off? Was this how they tried to hide just for a glimpse.. a touch... a kiss?

_"Well I am here for a kiss?" _he reasoned.

He felt her grip loosen until she dropped it all together. Her face showed surprise and her eyes were wide. Had he said it out loud? If her expression was anything to go by, then yes he had and what was strange he did not feel the need to shut down and scoff. Pretend it was not a big deal. Maybe it was the alcohol that lowered his inhibitions or maybe the fact that her presence always put him at ease... like there was no need to pretend.. even if continued to push her away, hurt her to show her how ugly.. broken.. worthless he had felt.. and yet she had seen through his act, called him on his bullshit and to his ever delight did not leave him be.. she did not give up on him.. on his talent.. or on his long lost heart.

She had freed him.

He had not felt as light ever since he dragged her into his life.. literally. Even more so now. The regret of losing Eun Jae, while a bitter pill to swallow, did not weigh him down anymore. His father`s ways held little to no interest anymore... he no longer stalked him for the sake of his withering mother. His mother had been the next on his agenda. His broken hand had given him a lot to think and much free times to decide what to do and where to go from there.

His smile was soft... real. If one had known Yi Jeong really well, he`d know that he rarely smiled. He smirked almost all the time, unless he was with his F4 friends and even then he`d only laugh or chuckle in amusement. But the smile he had now was as gentle as his eyes and it warmed her to see him bestow on her. She heard him. He had wanted a kiss.. another one. He was not drunk.. he was not on some sort of a drug... he was not toying her..he was genuine.. honest and it scared that much more.

What did Yi Jeong want now?

Was he bored? Intent on another harsh lesson to harden her heart?

Was she that unlucky that he decided he wanted something from her when disaster decided to strike her and her unfortunate family?

_Only you Ga Eul!.. Only you would attract the attention of Korea`s infamous playboy at the most awful time._

"Kiss me?" He invaded her personal space. With every step she took backward, he matched her one forward. Until her back met the tree and she had nowhere to run. She felt trapped as his palms rested on the rough bark, on each side of her. Her hands shot forward to push against his chest in a weak attempt to push him away. Her hands held absolutely no strength nor could they match the one he had in him. He was leaning on her, and she could feel the erratic thunder of his heart under her palms. No doubt, he could feel hers, pulsing just as wildly in her chest.

But that wasn't the reason why she felt trapped.

No. It was what was inside.

She was terrified. Of herself.

It was just a few short hours ago when she had surrendered to him and her own wildly passionate response to his kiss frightened her. She had been lost in a tide of sheer pleasure and emotions. Of how _right_ it felt to kiss him, to hold him, and be held by him.

His knuckles ran down her cheeks, his eyes roaming her face, settling on her pouting lips. His hand encircled her throat in a gesture of possession and dominance, wanting her to surrender to him. Yet the hold remained gentle—ready to surrender to her as well.

"Kiss me!" The words were firmer yet still as soft..as gentle.. trying to coax her out of her shy shell. He did not want to disturb the spell that had snared them tight in its web. She was resembling a delicate deer, ready to bolt with any unexpected sudden movement.

The words had their desired effect as her eyelids started to drop, her face rising.. getting closer to him. He waited.. willed his other arm to lay still, not to push her closer.. just yet. Warm shy lips tentatively touched his own. It only took a moment of surprise, a moment of hesitation, before he crushed her against him, and returned the kiss. He wasn't going to think about this. He wasn't going to question it.

His heart was hammering in his chest as their lips fused together..softly. If the first kiss was passionate...hard..and explosive.. this one was warm.. deep.. slow almost soul-searching. His arm curled around her narrow waist, hand pushing at the small of her back, bringing her flush against him from chest to thigh, burning him where they touched.

On a heavy sigh, she parted them beneath his own. His groan vibrated through her and she felt her inside clench as she imagined him, tongue exploring every inch of her body, tasting her, his hands joining him before he would lay above her, hard, coiled and ready to pounce on a body that no man has ever seen before. His tongue snaked past her lips, finding her own. Her hands found his shoulders, but rather than pushing him away, her short fingernails bit into the corded flesh.

She not only needed him…she wanted to share every sensation with him. She wanted him to…her mind couldn't come up with any coherent answers, just a swirl of emotions that amounted to one thing: She wanted him. _All_ of him. Body, heart, mind, and soul. Just like he owned every inch of her just now. Every thought, every breath, every gasp, every beat of her heart belonged to him.

While his would belong no one.

She felt tears form in her eyes, and she couldn't stop them from rolling down her cheeks, mingling into the taste of their hot kiss.

Suddenly, he yanked away from her, as if he had been burned.

She almost cried out from the separation, but she clamped her lips shut. He was searching her face, his own blank and unreadable. She tried to compose herself, to gather the last remaining strands of her control around herself—to hide all of the vulnerability of her recent, shattering, self-discovery.

"You're crying," he murmured, stating the obvious as if he wanted her to deny what was there in front of him.

"I didn't mean to," she retorted, yanking her gaze away from his accusing ones.

"You`re not supposed to cry!" he dropped his hands from her, taking a step back..followed by another and another. Her tears, while their cause unknown to him, shamed him. So many times he had made her cry. He was good at making her cry it seemed.

It hit him like a flash of lightning.

Maybe she did not love him as before.. maybe he was successful in pushing her away and by kissing her he was hurting her more.

"Mianhamnida" She took a deep breath to ease the pressure around the vicinity of her heart. She ached at having to apologize for kissing him. "Maybe you shouldn't have come, Sunbae" She took the time he was stunned into silence to walk away, back in her home. Her hand muffling her sobs.

The light of her bedroom turned off. Had her words not been clear into sending a message of not wanting to be in his presence anymore, her eyes, going without a backward glance, the lights made sure he got it loud and clear. Never had a girl dared to walk away from him. That was his role. He wanted to be angry at her. Plan to humiliate her. He couldn't. He wouldn't.

He might have thought this was her way of getting back at him for what he had done and put her through but her tears were genuine and she looked so vulnerable. An act of revenge should bring a victorious proud smile like the one she had back at the club when she brought that jerk-face to his knees. She did not have that smile.

He was sure no good would come out in trying to ask her or talk to her about it. Resigned, he walked to his car, glancing at her window.

_It`s time to talk about us Jagiya!_

**A week or so later...**

He should have taken his chances and talked to her right away instead of waiting. Anything was better than this.

Almost a week has passed and he had not been able to get in touch with her. Waiting for her at school seemed pointless, so was waiting in front of her house every morning. Whenever he asked for her at work, her boss and Jan Di said she was at home and her parents said she was at work. It was obvious that Ga Eul was dead set on avoiding him.

But Ga Eul was no match for one determinant F4. With the help of Woo Bin and some of his men, Ga Eul was confirmed to be at the shop. All entry and exit points were guarded with instruction in keeping the elusive girl inside, Ga Eul was trapped and she had no way to escape him.

Her face was priceless as color drained from it quickly. She really did not expect him to keep chasing her. Never has a girl gave him so much trouble when chasing her around, usually they played coy hoping to intrigue him before giving into his charm. Not this girl though.

He had persuaded her to leave with him, offering Jan Di and Jun Pyo as an excuse. He had ordered them some drinks and snacks, and true to her upbringing she had been shy to refuse him in a public place. They had discussed their friends` situation for a while until he could not wait any longer. He had to know why she had cried and if she was willing to meet him halfway again to start their own story..relationship.. thing!

So here they were, walking down the Namsan stairs.

The time away from her, not of his choice, gave him time to think about her, about what he wanted from her and where to go from there. He had missed. More so with their recent temporarily closeness. Disappointment was bitter when he could not get a hold of her. He pondered over their situation, what might happen if he pulled back to being friends only, what consequences they would face if they tried their hand at a relationship only to fail and lose each other. After seeing her face for the first time in long days, he knew.

It was a risk he was willing to take. He just didn`t expect to be shot down so soon.

"Ga Eul, I.." he started, and she had cut him off, the wind blowing her hair. The sky was gloomy, clouds dark and looked ready to unleash their wrath any second now.

"I`ll go first!" He waited for her words, ready to hear words of confirmation of her love.. boy was he sorely mistaken "You don`t have to feel burdened by me. I already know everything. How you feel. So I am not going to look for you anymore Sunbae" Shock did not come close to describe his reaction at her words. This was not what he imagined hearing from her.

"Ga Eul!" She interrupted yet again, not giving him a chance to say a word. As if she rehearsed all of her speech and if he had a word in, she would lose her courage.

"Teacher.. I mean Eun Jae teacher, she said that she did all her heart allowed, therefor she has no regrets and no leftover attachments." She finally looked up and he saw her face. There were bright with tears that she refused to let fall. She was not happy to deliver those lines...those obvious lies she was feeding him.. he denied them. Did not want to believe them..

"Thank you for giving me the chance to try all that I could!"

This could not be happening.. not now.. not when he was close to ...

His ears buzzed and he could no longer understand what she was saying. He felt rooted to his spot as he watched her walk away down the stairs, disappearing little by little until she disappeared. His feet refused to cooperate with him.. his tongue felt tied into a thousand knot.. bile rose quickly. Was this how the dying felt? He breathed, slowly and deeply.. filling his burning lungs with needed air, as if he had gone so long deprived of it.

He had an inkling that he might have just lost Ga Eul forever.

Words that he kept repeating in a drunken rage as piece by a beautiful piece of pottery shattered in his studio. One that nearly knocked Woo Bin unconscious had he not moved out of the way.

Woo Bin, the Song heir and the mafia prince had seen his fair share of violence.. fights.. gang wars.. you name it, he`d probably seen it. He was not a stranger to the demons Yi Jeong battled, recently discovering how deep the scars were...and how dark his life was. While they were all busy with the dysfunctional love triangle, Jun Pyo`s evil witch of a mother, his upcoming wedding.. Yi Jeong was slipping unnoticed... falling into a self-destructive routine and Chu Ga Eul was there when he was not and for that he felt shame.

Which is why when Yi Jeong enlisted his help in locating his girl, he utilized every man on deck to find the stubborn elusive girl. Yes... Chu Ga Eul was considered Yi Jeong`s girl...hence none made a move at her and boy was he tempted more than once.

More shattering and a cynical laughter had him cringe. The words so glaringly obvious to what the result of the meeting was.

_"Everybody leaves me!"_

**_~!'Cause I'm broken when I'm open_**

**_And I don't feel like I am strong enough_**

**_'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome_**

**_And I don't feel right when you're gone away!~_**

* * *

My Spanish is rusty but here it goes:

**Patricia Bustos:**  
Hello. Not bueno en español, lo siento. Estoy utilizando Google Translate para ayudarme. Si lo deseas, puedes usarlo para leer la historia o me envía un mensaje aquí para que podamos hablar más. Gracias.

Reviews are welcomed!


	4. Chapter 4

**_~!I can't be losing sleep over this, no, I can't  
And now I cannot stop pacing  
Give me a few hours, I'll have this all sorted out  
If my mind would just stop racing__!~  
_**

_"Everybody leaves me..."_

Never in their many years of friendship.. no..brotherhood had Woo Bin been an eyewitness to such obvious public declaration of weakness. From Yi Jeong nonetheless. He`d seen Ji Hoo`s constant depression... loneliness after the horrific death of both parents, his grandfather abandonment. He had seen the great Gu Jun Pyo`s breakdown when his beloved grandmother passed away. Hell, even himself had broken down when his mother was gunned down in front of his teen eyes. Yi Jeong did not. Not when his mother was first hospitalized on her first suicide attempt. Not when his older brother had left the So family. And certainly not when Eun Jae vanished from his life. Yi Jeong drank to the point of oblivion. He fell in bed with many women, sometimes two at a time. He broke breathtaking vases. Wrecked ridiculously expensive cars. With all the self-destructive acts, Yi Jeong kept mum about his sorrows. He rivaled Ji Hoo in keeping things to himself.

The painfully loaded statement caught Woo Bin by surprise, shell shocking him as what he thought to be an easily laid-back buddy trashed his studio, his haven because of one simple girl. Had they underestimated Ga Eul`s influence on the cold-hearted Casanova?

He shook his head. This was more than that. _Everybody leaves me_, suggested that not only Ga Eul`s response or whatever had happened caused his friend to finally lose it. It was much more than that. His mother.. brother.. Eun Jae... His talent...Ga Eul was the last straw that broke the camel's back. Which confirmed that things did not go according to Yi Joeng plan. Not even close to it.

What Yi Jeong lacked in build, he made up with strength, his raging emotion aiding him as he tried to restrain him, twisting his hand behind his back mindful to not further the damage Yi Jeong hand had sustained on that horrible night. He curled an arm around his neck, anchoring him, trying to still his movement.

"Calm down or I`ll knock you out!" his warning clear. Firm. He tightening the hold to emphasize how serious he was.

Yi Jeong knew that soon Woo Bin would win over him, as the later was larger in build and knew how to fight. All of his struggling would only drain him and be for naught. So he stilled, his arms at his sides rather than clawing at Woo Bin`s arms. He breathed, filling his lungs, trying to get his erratic heartbeats to normal. He did not know how many hours he had spent just driving around before he made his studio a victim of his rage. Priceless work of arts, a Yi Jeong originals before his accident laid to waste at his feet.

If you asked Woo Bin what it was like to hold on to Yi Jeong at the moment, he`d tell you to imagine holding onto a tornado.. shaking and trembling with force. Yi Jeong`s body was still awfully tensed, his breathing far too fast and shallow. Had he not been trained to spot little signs, he would have fallen and let go when Yi Jeong had stopped thrashing around.

"Jeong-ah! We can have this conversation like normal people, or with you in a sleeper hold. Your call!"

This was his second warning and Yi Jeong knew the Song prince gave no thirds even to his brother. Woo Bin felt it instantly. The sagging shoulders, the deep breaths as if he had been drained and was running purely on adrenaline. He loosened his hold gradually, taking a step back. He left him standing in the midst of what has become of his shop, taking in the damage he had caused. He started on the tea, knowing Yi Jeong could use it to calm and soothe his nerves.

He snapped from his daze, bringing a broom to sweep the broken pottery. A routine he was very well versed in. By the time he had finished, a cup of steaming tea was waiting for him along with a very somber looking Woo Bin. Brushing off what happened looked pointless. Maybe..

"It would help to talk about it" He knew him well, dammit!

"Channeling your inner Ji Hoo?" At his confused look, he took a sip, relishing in the warmth of the tea as it traveled down, as if it could warm the coldness that started to spread with every _'click'_ of her heels. "Normally you would let me destroy everything before you offer me a bar."

"Well seeing how my past methods succeeded in whatever you`re going through, a change was deemed necessary."

He pushed the cup away, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose and he appreciated the silent moments Woo Bin gave him to collect his thoughts. He didnt know from where to begin..or even what to tell Woo Bin.. he did not know himself what had happened or how did he get to the point of utter destruction.

"I take it things with Ga Eul did not work as you hoped they would?"

"Long story short.. she said she would no longer seek me out or look for me"

"What? I thought Ga Eul would have jumped for joy when you told her your feelings for her?"

The silence stretched on and Woo Bin did not like it one bit "You did tell her. Didn't you?"

He shook his head, leaning back on his chair "Didn't give me a chance. She just sprung this on me and left"

"But you said Ga Eul confessed to loving you?"

He remembered that night vividly. Ironically it was the same night he wanted to erase completely. From rejecting her to that date from hell to the dinner with the devil, that night was not one of his best nights ever. It ranked pretty high with his mother`s first attempt at taking her life in front of his eyes, his brother`s leaving, to the night he unknowingly threw away his chance with Eun Jae.

He had not realized just how far she had gotten under his skin.. into his heart.

"She did but with my track record and the things I have done and said to her.. As much as I am angry, I can`t really blame her" He could not. Not really. He had given nothing but grief and heartache and to not want to be a part of it again; Ga Eul had every right to walk away.

It did not mean he had to like it though. And he did not. Not one bit. Ga Eul had always been there and the thought of her away was just not acceptable.

"There`s a but..?"

"I kissed her..twice" his lips twitched when Woo Bin let out a wolf-whistle "And not once did she push me away"

"And it bothers you?" At his nod, Woo Bin set aside his own cup, clasping his hands in front of him, he leaned forward "When a woman is used to getting hurt, she won`t know how it feels when a man starts to appreciate her, so she ends up pushing him away."

As much as he did not want to admit it, Woo Bin was right on the money. He had not told her of his growing feelings.. he just kissed her..twice.. confusing her further. Maybe she had seen it as another ploy to toy with her.. or that he was bored.. rebounding after Eun Jae... so many scenarios she could have pictured and none came close to the truth. He kissed her because he wanted to.. He kissed her because the thought of getting close to Ga Eul was not scary.. nor did it fill hims with dread.. not anymore. For once he wanted something and he had planned to pursue it rather than waiting for it to come to him. His only fault in his plan, that Ga Eul had no idea of how serious he was or the change he was experiencing.

Woo Bin was right. She was used to fake dates, hurtful words and stringing her along.

Boy did he have a lot to make up for.

Again Woo Bin proved to be one-step ahead.

"Before you begin wooing the unsuspecting girl. Ji Hoo called me. Said his grandfather`s friend was here in Korea. He is an orthopedic surgeon and had insisted on you coming for a consultation"

He wanted to protest as Woo Bin motioned for him to get going. He wanted to remedy the situation with Ga Eul first. Make sure he still had a fighting chance in the race to win her heart once and for all. "Give her space. If you push now, you`ll back her into a corner and Ga Eul will not like it one bit"

Resigned, he strode to the bedroom he had in the studio, deciding on a quick shower to rinse the alcohol away. _I will get you back..._

Woo Bin grabbed the cups, putting them in the sinks to be washed. He grabbed his phone, hearing the shower still going on. "Chu Ga Eul, you have some explaining to do!"

**_At the Chu residence:_**

Yun Min Ran was as beautiful in her late forties, just as much when she was a young blushing bride. The silver locks scattered in her long shiny hair did nothing to diminish her beauty. Her hair was gathered in a soft bun at the base of her neck. Soft tendrils framing her heart-shaped face. Her usual laughing eyes were dull as years of burdens finally caught up with the once lively woman, the recent setback weighing her down as she climbed the stairs leading up to her daughter`s room.

Her heart ached for what`s become of her family. Her mother`s instinct screamed to protect her only child just as fiercely a lioness would shelter her cubs. Every time she held her fist to knock on the door, the muffled cries tore at her insides. Helplessly, she`d stare at the door before walking away, thinking how Ga Eul not only resembled her in a physical sense but also with the doomed luck she had suffered as well. Twenty odds years before, she was forced to marry someone she did not know nor love; Ga Eul`s father. Chu Min Ha was a young government employee when he had asked for her hand in marriage, before he joined the Shinhwa group. Having barely enough money to buy food, her father had to guilt her into agreeing. Years passed, Min Ha was gentle with her and love grew between them. It had been easy, as her heart had yet to love before him. He was her first and last love.

She knew her daughter will not be as lucky as she had been. Ga Eul was already in love and it was not the man who asked for her hand. She knew the signs. Had seen the heartbreak as well as the happiness. It was hard not to miss the bright orange car. When it passed their street. When it came to pick up Ga Eul and drop her off. When it screeched to a halt at the middle of the night a week or so later. She did not miss how her daughter stepped willingly into a strong embrace, passionately surrendering to his kiss. She had blushed as she caught them in the shadows of the night, blissfully unaware of everything but each other. She had left them, feeling as if she`s intruding on a very private intimate moment between the young lovers. She had thought that the young and obviously rich man would have stepped up and helped his girlfriend.. her daughter in her time of need. That`s what she hoped. At least they would owe money to Ga Eul`s boyfriend rather than a bunch of men who had no honor and had no trouble in spilling blood to get their dirty money back. She had a momentarily hopeful smile only to see Ga Eul, days later, bursting home in tears, fleeing to her room.

That man was not her boyfriend. He did not love her.

He did not know of their troubles.

He did not know of Ga Eul engagement, a thing of certainty as days passed.

But most of all Ga Eul was in love with a man and to be wed to another.

She had wept that night. For her family. For her daughter.

She reached the door at the end of the hallway, pressing her ear to hear any movement on the other side. Sighing, she knocked at the door, waiting before Ga Eul`s voice told her to enter. Closing the door, she turned and surveyed the room. Ga Eul`s room has always been neat. Bed always made. Desk organized. The floor always clean and it smelled nice at all times even with the Geum daughter that often came for sleepovers. Ga Eul was in front of her dresser, putting the bottle of perfume down, reaching for her brush.

"Let me! Sit" She took the brush, passing it through the silky shining locks softly. Ga Eul had her eyes closed, hands in her lap twisting what appeared to be a white silk handkerchief with light violet edge that ran around the squared cloth that looked very very expensive.

"Mianhamnida" In the mirror, she saw Ga Eul`s reflection as she opened her eyes, shining bright, brimming with tears.

"Umma.." She stepped back as her daughter stood facing her. Her smile was accepting. Resigned to her fate. And Min Ran wanted to hide her precious girl.. send her far away. "Umma.. it`s ok! Lee Yoon Jae sounds like the perfect son in law you dreamed of having." She stepped away, twirled to show her outfit to her miserable mother "Do I look ok?"

The knee length dress was simple, modest and screamed Ga Eul. The deep blue suited her porcelain skin and ebony hair. She looked the perfect daughter in law any Korean mother would want for her son. And she cursed her for that. Maybe if Ga Eul looked less prefect.. less beautiful, Yoon Jae`s mother would refuse the union.

"I`ll wash my hands and we`ll go down together"

She watched her walk away, the soft ruffles of the dress moving like gentle waves. She pushed the chair closer to the dresser, straightening the items back to their original place. She held the silk handkerchief, feeling its soft texture. She traced the light violet design, noticing its fine and elegant threads. _S.Y.J..._

"I wonder if he`s the man you love Ga Eul..."

She quickly hid the expensive cloth in the waist of her skirt, making a mental note to ask the Geum`s daughter about those initials. If anyone was to know who they belonged to and if it was the same man her daughter was kissing, it was her.

She gripped the sink tight, her knuckles turning white as she concentrated on breathing. Her phone has been ringing non-stop. Woo Bin`s name flashing repeatedly on the screen. Finally, the ringing ceased to be and a text came through. '_We need to talk Chu Ga Eul!'_. The use of her full name frightened her as if she`s been scolded for doing something wrong. Had she? No. Did she _feel_ like she did? Absolutely yes. She knowingly broke her own heart. She bought her own ticket out of his life. And she just walked into a prison.

So why would Woo Bin call her; demanding to speak. The constant ringing deemed the matter urgent. Maybe Yi Jeong had told him of what happened? or maybe it was about Jan Di and her never ending drama with the Gu heir? Maybe Woo Bin finally caught wind of her friend`s whereabouts? She shook her head. She`d know soon enough. She touched her lips, thumbs brushing over the gloss to even it out. They tingled of past memory. Of ghostly touches and passionate ones as the kiss got caught between a sweet gentle assault and an all consuming devouring.

How could she betray her heart and give up the man she loved?

_It`s not too late to tell him.._

"No."

_He`ll help you..._

"No."

_You`ll pay him back.._

"No."

_You can`t marry Yoon Jae..._

"No!"

Under a minute, she washed her hand and dried them, met with her mother and descended the stairs.

Lee Yoon Jae was tall, dark and handsome. He was not heavy nor was he sickly thin. He filled his suit just fine. He was not as rich as the F4 or the ones associated with them. He lived comfortably with his parents. Lonely child and the obvious apple of their eyes yet he was not rottenly spoiled. Had she not given her heart away, Yoon Jae would indeed be the perfect son in law any girl would want. At 24 he was a successful accountant that worked with her father in Shinhwa for a year and a half. She had memorized his resume that her father gladly gave.

"Ga Eul-ssi!" he bowed slightly, his eyes bright, his smile tad bit shy and polite. He tried not to ogle or stare too much but the girl was obviously very pretty.

"Yoon Jae-ssi!" she bowed in return, her heart heavy as the clock ticked.

"Ga Eul! What don`t you go with Yoon Jae in his car and we will follow you to the restaurant?"

She looked at him, his elbow offered. Nodding, she took her coat and bag before she hesitantly linked her arm with his.

She could only follow and dread the upcoming evening.

The ride was surprisingly not uncomfortable. The conversation was simple and Yoon Jae proved to be a well eloquent man and easy going. He did not pry into her personal life. He inquired politely about her likes and interests. If she preferred Italian food.

She remembered the expensive Italian restaurant Yi Jeong took her to when they schemed to get back at her then jerk boyfriend. He had wanted to go on with the fake date to the very end. After the scene at the club, he had asked her to have dinner at one of his favorite Italian place. She had expected an expensive, A-list, 5 stars restaurant. Instead, he had taken her to a quiet intimate place. The lighting was dimmed as it cast a romantic glow. It was then when she fell for him.

She did not know how long was she sitting caught in a distant memory. She was startled when her door was opened and a hand was offered to her, the face of the man was not seen. How she wanted to put her hand in his, to step out and see the chiseled features of a god, to see that devilish smile and the twinkling teasing eyes that would sparkle in knowing she had been caught daydreaming about him.

He was not. The coloring was right. Dark hair, dark eyes after all those were the common features of Korean men. The shade all wrong though. The eyes were different. Yoon Jae`s eyes were light, close to a chocolate brown, and laughing. Yi Jeong`s were almost black, especially in anger or in passion. They were deep, observant and showed of his scars. Another difference was their upbringings. Yoon Jae had a normal happy childhood where Yi Jeong had not. The smile was all kinds of wrong. No dimples.. not tilted smirk.. no amusement. It was just a smile for Yoon Jae and much more for..

"Shall we?" She could see their parents waving for them from inside the cozy restaurant, encouraging them to go in and join them.

They started walking, with each step her heartbeats thudded painfully against her ribs, and the clicks of her heels echoed loudly, almost deafening her. Her stomach knotted and twisted almost to the point of pain. Her hands felt clammy and all she wanted to do was to run in the opposite direction, preferably to a certain potter`s studio.

_**Thirty minutes later...**_

"Order the usual for me. I need to wash up"

"Wash up all the sexy germs those nurses slobbered all over you!"

He glared before laughing, feeling lighter somewhat. The situation less bleak than what he deemed before. The meeting with the doctor was a success. The damage he thought was permanent was not and what he had sustained in that fight was easily irreversible. He did not need to think about it and had agreed to do the surgery as soon as possible to start the physical therapy. The sooner he recovered the sooner he`d get his life back into perspective.

"_Aren`t they adorable?"_

_"He`s willing to wait until she`s 18 so he can marry her!"_

The 'Awws' and gushes of the female waitresses caught his attention as he passed on his way to the restaurant. Curious as to who this adorable couple was and if the girl was indeed worthy of waiting, he turned and casually looked at the direction of where the two girls were staring.

He felt as if the earth gave out from beneath him. His lungs screamed for air as he held his breath, his throat dry as he stared at the scene before him. There she was, looking all beautiful for another man as he slipped a ring on her finger, glasses of champagne raised in celebration.

_"Ga Eul..."_

Her smile was dimmed as he kissed his in laws and she was left to kiss hers. As she pulled back, her eyes as if drawn caught his. Even across from each other he saw her mouth in shock

_"Yi Jeong"_

**_~!'Cause I cannot stand still  
I can't be this unsturdy  
This cannot be happening  
_****_'Cause I'm waiting for tonight_****_  
Then waiting for tomorrow  
And I'm somewhere in between  
_****_What is real and just a dream..._****_~!_****_  
_**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing! :)**

**Fifth installment! **

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**_~!Seems like just yesterday_**

**_You were a part of me_**

**_I used to stand so tall_**

**_I used to be so strong_**

**_Your arms around me tight_**

**_Everything, it felt so right_**

**_Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong!~_**

Yun Min Ran could very well bet whatever they had left that the dashing young man standing in the shadows watching their table was the one who captured her daughter`s heart. The height seemed the same and yes no one could mistake those god-like features. Very unlikely for that man to have a double. No this was him and he did not look pleased with the scene he stumbled upon. No he looked shocked... surprised... absolutely crushed for a fleeting second before he buried his vulnerability under a steel mask, one he slipped on with ease and she wondered how wounded this boy was.. just what was he hiding away. He just stood there, still and she accepted Yoon Jae`s shy kiss on her cheek, her eyes still trained on the young man; ready to intercept him if he decided to head their way. A scene won't do, especially in public. No, she'll have to talk to him privately. If he felt an ounce of what he had let show on his face in the span of the long tortuous seconds of watching Ga Eul slip a ring on another man's finger, she knew Ga Eul had been very wrong, way off base of what he felt for her. If he did not love her, he'd have to care about her. She'll settle for a friendly help instead of dooming her daughter, jailing her in a loveless marriage. Ga Eul would not survive. Not like she had. Ga Eul would wither and welt in her marriage to Yoon Jae. A bird trapped in a golden cage where it stayed longing for freedom. Longing for its true mate. She was not about to sacrifice her only child. She'll just had to find a way to reach him.

She knew the exact moment when Ga Eul had spotted him as well. Her frame teetered to the side and she gripped the back of her chair, the light catching on her ring. Yoon Jae and his family along with her husband were unaware, oblivious to Ga Eul`s shock and growing despair and of her own pensive state.

"Yi Jeong?"

Min Ran paused, caught between wanting to comfort her distraught baby and keeping an eye on the handsome young man that was still rooted to his spot. She risked a glance up at Ga Eul`s face, noticeably pale even under the soft lighting, her bright eyes shining with the beginning of tears. Quickly, she stood up from the table, her hand resting against her daughter`s back, both to steady her and reassure her.

"Me and Ga Eul will go freshen up. She`s overwhelmed by the events" she did not consider these events happy. They were unfortunate to both sides. Ga Eul`s and the nice family of Yoon Jae. No matter how much she wanted to blame Jan Di, she couldn't. The girl was innocent of president Kang`s doings and the storm that uprooted them from normalcy.

She linked her hand with her daughter as they excused themselves from the table, sending a prayer of thanks that Yoon Jae`s mother choose to stay and not accompany them. Their steps brought them closer to the bathroom which meant closer to the young man whose eyes of steel zeroed on Ga Eul and she was sure he only saw her at the moment.

_Doesn't love her my foot!_

Renewed with a spark of hope in their bleak situation, she stopped when they reached his frozen form as she asked one of the hostesses the direction of the bathroom.

It was seconds but felt like an eternity as she finally brought her eyes up to face his stony face. His eyes were jet black, narrowed and burning with emotions, ones she was not sure of. Anger... hate... all she knew is that they burned something fierce as they snared her in. She did not bank on him finding out this way. If she was honest she had not spared a thought as to how she was breaking the news. Not that they cared about her. Her connection to the F4 has gone AWOL, which meant Ji Hoo and Woo Bin`s men which meant Woo Bin as well were involved in locating Jan Di. Jun Pyo only tolerated her because she was his girlfriend`s best friend. And after severing ties with Yi Jeong, she had no one to share the news of her upcoming engagement but then again it`s not like she's excited about her upcoming nuptials. It was a business deal. Money for daughter.

_And sold!_

She opened her mouth to say something. Anything. "I.."

"Come Ga Eul, this way" Her mother dragged her away to what she assumed would be the bathroom. She looked over her shoulder as she struggled to catch up with her mother. Woo Bin has joined him and both were looking in their direction.

Her stomach churned, knotted and the duck meat demanded she let it out. Brushing past her mother into one of the open stalls, bending over. She retched, feeling acid burning her throat. Her hair was pulled from her face as her mother touched her back, trying to somehow offer her comfort even by her touch alone. Her eyes burned, tears prickling her closed lids, stinging her. A sound bubbled past her dry lips, broken, caught between a laugh and a sob. She closed the lid and sat on it, thankful that the bathroom seemed deserted.

"I'll get you a glass of water" She felt a burning kiss on her forehead before her mother left, the door closing with a soft 'click'. Her hand rose and she laid her open palm atop of her beating heart. She felt like someone was squeezing it with an iron grip, twisting it. It hurt. Very much so. More tears burned her cheeks and she bit her lip to smother her sobs in. She knew she had to get through what remained of the evening and she could go home and breakdown. Or maybe she'll make an excuse of being tired or feeling bad from the food.

She brushed the tears with the back of her hand, taking a deep breath before letting it out shakily. Her mother`s voice as she thanked someone, probably an employee. She threw her bag and shawl at the black leather couch that was pushed against the wall before standing in front of one of the many sinks, looking in the mirror above it, seeing the tears tracks, the runny nose and the slight redness of her eyes. Gone was the pretty girl, instead a broken one took her place.

Opening the faucet, she did not hear another 'click' followed by the sound of the lock being turned. Splashing the cold water against her hot skin instantly made her feel better. She took a sip of water, wanting to rinse the acid taste from her mouth and throat. Closing the faucet, watching the water circle around before going down the drain. Grabbing a bunch of paper towels, she dried her hands and face before throwing them in the trash. She grabbed her bag and took out her lip gloss. She stood in front of the mirror again, looking down as she opened it. Raising the brush, her eyes glanced up and she gasped, her grip loosening; the brush and its container falling into the sink with a deafening 'clink'. He filled the mirror, his eyes ablaze and fear trickled down the base of her spine. Gone were the easy smile, the playful eyes and the friendly attitude. Instead, his smile was set into a hard thin line, eyes unfathomable and his aura screamed of danger. This was a Yi Jeong you did not want to meet in a dark alley yet here she was stuck with him in a restaurant`s bathroom.

_He won`t hurt me..._

"Don't be so sure of that!" his voice was low, gruff and despite the situation she found her toes curling inside her shoes as it sent trickles of delicious tremors from her exposed neck down her spine, every nerve ending tingling. She gulped. She knew his voice, of course, and yet didn't recognize it now. His tongue was cutting the words as they left it. They were hemorrhaging rage. Swallowing, she turned her body, her back digging into the sink as she pressed back, away from him as she could... physically. Emotionally was a whole another deal. His braced hand went and loosened his silk tie, his harsh breath loud in the silent room. Her eyes darted around looking for a way out. Yes she wanted to escape, cowardly so. She'll talk to him another time, when he had calmed down some. His voice might have dripped with rage, but his eyes were swirling with frost as he got closer and walked right into her personal space and beyond. His taller and muscular frame brushing against her smaller one. Her eyes were trained on his throat, watching the soft skin stretch as his Adam's apple bobbed slightly. Her insides clenched, tingling in awareness of having this fine specimen so close... so very close as she inhaled his scent. Earthy, spicy and masculine, her brain provided 'So Yi Jeong'.

She barely reached his chin. It'd be easy to tuck her in the crook of his neck and disappear with her. The latest events he had witness added to the ones he had experienced in the span of two weeks urged him to do just that. He could take her from the back door and disappear and no one will reach them. No one will separate them ever again.

He stood still, fists clenched at his sides as he remembered how he came to stand here. He had stood earlier, watching as the ring circled her finger and the pain did not compare to the one he had felt when he saw Eun Jae in the arms of his older brother. He had stood paralyzed as she approached with her mother, her eyes downcast and when she stopped next to him, her bright eyes lifted and he wanted to shake her senseless, demand why she was doing this, scream 'What about me? Huh?'

'Don't you love me anymore?'

And until that moment he did not know how much her declaration of love had moved him. How much he needed it. It had awakened a part he had buried deep inside. A part that loved and wanted to be loved. She brought it out of him and now she stood, agreeing to tie her future with someone else. He had wondered if that`s the reason she gave him that speech on the stairs. Had this man slipped and took her right from under his nose while he placed her on the bench and catered to other girls.

He had felt Woo Bin`s hand on his shoulder, asking what was happening and he told him what he heard and saw as they watched the bathroom door close. His shock was evident when her mother approached them. He could see glimpses of Ga Eul in her and it was like looking into the face of a future Ga Eul. She had dragged him and for a small woman she had been strong or maybe because she caught him by surprise and he had no choice but to follow. She had set the glass of water on the sink counter and quietly told him to wait before he made his presence known. He stared at her stupefied, surprised and her determination and the fire in her familiar brown eyes reminded him of a Ga Eul he knew... one he had been determined to destroy and put out the hope in her eyes.

He had heard the quiet sobs she was smothering and his confusion increased. She did not sound happy about the prospect of getting married or maybe his presence had upset her. He knew of one way to find out what exactly was going on and show her... make her see how much her being away had changed him... that he'll get better and get back to making pottery because she did not give up on him when the world did... tell her that he'll date an innocent girl... that he'll definitely mess with a foolish girl and was more than ready to get involved with a girl his friends knew and very much loved.

He wanted to tell her that she was his and he'll be damned if he let another take her away not when he was ready to accept her love and allow himself to love her back.

_Mine!_

"You`re mine Ga Eul! MINE!"

His body screamed, his instinct stripped bare of rational thoughts or feelings. It demanded he take back what`s his and he obeyed. Swiftly, his index finger curved under her chin, raising her eyes to meet his. They glimmered with the remains of her tears. He blew past her, capturing her parted lips. He was hard, hot and demanding. He took the last step closer to her, fitting his hardening body into the snug curves of her soft pliant body. One hand curved along the concave of her small back resting above the swell of her bottom, fitting her like a perfect puzzle piece with fit with its true match. She felt heavenly in his arms, created just for him. Only for him. His other hand disappeared in the thick locks of her hair, grasping the back of her neck, as his lips nudged hers apart, tongue snaking to tangle with hers, tasting her to satisfy his growing hunger for her... for more of her.

Her heart thudded painfully against her ribs, threatening to break them and through the silk of his shirt she could feel his own beating just as rapidly against her breast. Helpless to her body`s desire and longing for him, against the love that burned for him, that burned her, she gave in.

She parted her lips willingly to his possession, the dominating thrust of his tongue, giving a tiny sigh of bliss as she curled herself more fully against him, surrendering to his angry passion, to his every whim and desire. The tears she worked hard to hold finally found freedom on her cheeks and mingled with their molded lips. He didn't stop his kiss, his head tilted to the side to deepen it and her lips opened under his to allow him to blunder into the depth of her mouth. Brushing the roundness of her bottom he moaned as he palmed it, giving into an urge he had since he saw her in those black shorts. Bending slightly, he lifted her up, setting her on the edge of the sink. A calloused hand shakily but softly traced a fiery path from a smooth calf, rounding behind her knee until it settled, grasping a trembling thigh. He parted it, drew it around his waist as he stepped into the V of her now parted legs, the other one following its twin, his body pushing his hard straining arousal into the junction of her thighs.

Needing air to fill his burning lungs, he left her lips, travelling past her jaw, tracing a wet path to her neck. He buried his nose in the crook of her neck and breathed greedily in the scent of her hair and heated skin. The same smell that tortured him whenever he caught a whiff of the vanilla and honeyed aroma that kept him awake, aroused and longing for it much more than he thought was humanly possible.

Throwing her head back, a strangled moan made its way out of her now parched throat, biting down the urge to scream. Even if the door was locked, people would notice a womanly scream of pleasure rather than pain. However it slipped through, wrapping around them in an erotic bubble. Sensual and alluring. His name never sounded as musical as it did now.

"Yi Jeong please!" His body hardened more, her voice honeyed, soft and begging. His mind knew that a bathroom was not the idle place for their first time but he was beyond reason, knew no logic. He only knew of right here and right now.

"Please, what?" His hand lowered a strap of her dress, following be the other, more skin revealed to him "Please touch you?"

"Make love to you?"

Her stomach felt tensed, invaded by the phantom swarm of fluttering butterflies as the zipper was slowly pulled down, her back prickling with goosebumps as a soft breeze danced upon the now bare skin of her back. Her head tilted backwards thudding against the mirror as he trailed wet open mouthed kisses over the swell of her breasts, his growls re-vibrating across her sensitive skin.

The dress still clung to her body solely by the straps. She knew she should stop him... no them. She was as much of a participant as he was. Yet she couldn't. Her body ached for him. She felt empty deep inside and knew only he would fill her whole, body and soul. He traced the simple necklace she was wearing, drawing a path south, until he reached the fabric of the top of the dress, curling his finger, the material rolled and he gave a small tug watching intently as perky full breasts were released, the blue material now bunched around her curvy waist.

Slowly his head descended, lips brushing over hers, teasing her with feathery brushes back and forth as his hand traced her neck, shoulder before drawing abstract designs over her skin, allowing his finger to capture a surprisingly hard bud, tugging at the flesh, switching between hard and soft touches, knowing what she wanted. What she needed. Hot, burning and claiming. For the second time that evening her mouth opened, eager under his and he took advantage of the warm welcome, deepening the kiss.

Again they parted, both panting harshly.

The hand still grasping her thigh moved slightly and the soft brush over her covered core had her trembling in need. Her hunger suppressing her fear. Emboldened by her reaction, he traced the soft fabric of her panties, over her bottom, her hips, tracing high on her belly button before moving down. He kept his movement slow, feathery encouraged when her legs parted more.

She was hot. Scalding in her heat. The fabric felt damp against his fingers and he was filled with manly pride knowing he aroused her just as she did him. She was not immune to him. Not yet lost. Her body knew him. Craved him.

His knuckles ran over her covered core, delighted in her twitches and trembles, her breath hot against his neck. His fingered grabbed an edge of the fabric, slowly easing it to the side, exposing her moist delicate folds to his touch.

"Yi Jeong-ah! Open up" He jumped, startled as fists rained on the door, pounding. He knew the spell had been broken and he watched as Ga Eul gasped, horrified at what they were about to do.

"Jun Pyo was in a car accident! We need to go NOW!"

He looked between the door and the girl who was pulling on her dress unsuccessfully.

His best friend or his girl?

Jun Pyo might die. Ga Eul might disappear; be lost to him forever.

He stood undecided.

**_~!Now I can't breathe_**

**_No, I can't sleep_**

**_I'm barely hanging on!~_**


	6. Chapter 6

**_~! All I want now is to be with you _**  
**_Cause you know I've been everywhere else _**  
**_Looking back at what you got me through _**  
**_You knew me better than I knew myself !~_**

The plastic chairs were not made for comfort. Of that Yi Jeong was sure. His elbows rested on his thighs as his head hung low. Ji Hoo was still standing, looking at the closed double doors where their friend had been rushed inside not too long ago. Woo Bin had two of his men, dressed in their usual black suit getup, whispering, the look on the mafia prince serious and uncompromising as he relayed his instructions in regards of Jun Pyo`s protection and room security. There was no way anyone was taking any chances again.

He leaned back, giving a nod to his security detail, not surprised when two more joined him, along with the two just outside the hospital, they added to five. He tugged at his tie, loosening it; feeling as though he was suffocating. He took a deep breath, feeling his lungs filling, his ribs expanding before exhaling loudly, feeling some of the tension between his shoulder blades lessening, sighing at the temporary relief. A twin sigh at his right had him turning. The elusive girl sat hunched over, her bangs covering her eyes and Jan Di looked ten years older than her freshly turned eighteen. Her usual bright eyes were bloodshot, and her nose red as silent tears scorched her cheeks. She had on hand over her mouth, no doubt trying to stifle any anguished sound that wanted to bubble through. He had never been close to Jan Di. Jun Pyo and Ji Hoo were more than enough to handle. While, dead against her at first, the spunky girl had managed to warm her way into their boring grey lives. Made them look beyond suits, girls and money to see that there are far more important things in life. Friendship. Love.

_Ga Eul!_

Supposedly, he`d have to acknowledge that hadn't been because of Jan Di`s presence in their lives and the mad love she ignited in their leader, Chu Ga Eul would have never graced their lives. _His_ life. They would have never crossed paths and that slip of a girl wouldn't have turned his life upside down. He`d probably remain a bed-hopping playboy with daddy issues for the rest of his time, that is until his grandfather would drag him by the ear and bargain his grandson for a 'business deal' with an heiress of his choice.

Ga Eul`s presence in his life changed so many things yet some remained the same. The last girl he had shared a bed with was hours after he dropped Ga Eul off from their second pretend date. Him and her in a hotel room with a king-sized bed near by, his body didn't appreciate the fact that he didn't make use of it to take her over and over again atop of the white sheets. In fact the whole 'date' had put a strain on his body and mind and had he not sought that girl out, he would have driven back to Ga Eul and took what his body demanded. He had met countless women and even Eun Jae never evoked such a desire for another human being as Ga Eul did. As his first love that he come to realize as of late was a replacement of the supposedly motherly love he was supposed to get. As a six year old, it was hard to grasp that your mother loved a bottle of wine more than you. That the pills made her feel better than a hug from her youngest son. Eun Jae had come into his life in his time of need, when he desperately sought love and acknowledgment from an absent father and a suicidal mother. In his darkest hours where he was most vulnerable, Eun Jae was his saving grace. And what he had mistaken for his air, had been a wind. A wind of change that brought him right into the path of a commoner known as Chu Ga Eul.

The judgmental, accusatory and dismissive waitress. Even still, she was fiery, challenging, passionate, and very intriguing.

_ Not to mention very easy on the eyes, curvy and with the softest skin you ever touched!_

For a moment he could not think of anything else other than what had happened in the restaurant`s bathroom. How soft she felt. Delicate. Trembling in his embrace. How she kissed him back, wholeheartedly, freely, much to his delight and happiness. She was not lost to him. Most of all, he could not ignore his own feelings. Anger, despair and jealousy have filled him, suffocating him as he watched from the shadows of the restaurant. Passion, possessiveness and hunger as he drew her to him, snaring her tight, clutching desperately; afraid like a mirage she would disappear.

_He didn`t need long to decide as he originally thought. For those fleeting seconds of tormenting himself by having to choose between his injured brother and the girl who, he could at least admit, he did not want to lose to another man._

_Why choose one where he could have both? He could take her with him to see his friend? After all Jun Pyo was a friend of hers as well and if the usual media`s response and constant stalking of them was anything to go by, Jan Di would have no doubt caught wind of the news._

_He texted a quick 'Need 5 minutes' to Woo Bin before he walked to her. Her back was to him, the dress hanging loosely, the straps falling off of her delicate shoulders, the creamy skin of her back exposed, the zipper at the base of her spine and a small patch of black panties peaked through. His body hardened, again and he cursed the fates for the interruption. Again. First her mother now his best friends. Someone...something out there was determinant to keep them apart and with a surprising surge of sureness he was determinant to keep them together. _

_Whatever together meant. He just had to get rid of this pesky farce of a fiancee of hers and get her back to his side. _

_His fierce need for her scared him. He did not know when or how, but as he was so busy battling the demons of his broken family, the ghosts of Eun Jae, she had become an essential integrated part of his life. His routine._

_Of his very own existence._

_Not wanting to dwell on his feelings or their nature, he walked to her, his steps sure. Unlike before when his body stood rigid ready to snap with coiling anger, his body was more relaxed and his front molded with her back. Sweeping her silky hair to the side and over on shoulder, he pressed a trail of butterflies kissed from her shoulder blade over her collarbone to the curve of her swan like neck, his eyes holding hers captive in the mirror, hands splayed over her hips before they traced over her dress, sneaking inside her dress from the side, resuming their previous place, now directly over soft silky skin. Long fingers brushed the soft fabric of her panties, teasing her, challenging his barely there self control._

_He braced himself, feeling her frame sag against him, when one hand brushed upwards, circling her bellybutton, nipping at her earlobe as he journeyed up, over her ribs, feeling it expand as she took a deep breath, exhaling shakily when he rested his hand under the gentle swell of her breast,his thumb brushing the side in feather like touches, denying her and him where he knew she wanted his touch. Needed it the most. _

_Her heartbeats were strong under his palm and he soared with pride from evoking such a response from her. He buried his nose behind her ear, nuzzling the skin there, inhaling her intoxicating smell, his tongue darting to lick the patch of skin before pressing a kiss, his hand tightening around her waist, holding her up, her breathy 'please' caused him to arch his rocking hard arousal in the soft flesh of her bottom, looking for friction... release... anything to relieve himself of this sweet torment.  
_

_"I`d do anything to hear you beg me right now as I take you" he lowered his voice an octave lower, whispering hotly in her ear, nipping down the skin of her exposed neck and shoulders, murmuring "Hearing you moan as you bite my shoulder to silence your screams" _

_"Telling me to go faster" He weakened and his hand cupped the swell of her breast, feeling its light weight as it filled his hand. He molded it as he would to clay. "Deeper" He pushed against her, her hands curling around the edge of the sink, and a look at the mirror confirmed her closed eyes and parted lips. Her head fell against his shoulder, the arch of her body calling for him like a siren and he could only imagine what she would look like when she`d be in the grips of her release, the throes of passion, under him, above him, fluttering around him.  
_

_It was not a matter of if._

_It was a matter of when._

_'Soon' His body screamed._

_'Not yet' Something else whispered. 'Heart first. Body later'._

_"Tell me to stop Ga Eul!" His other hand slipped under the edge of her panties, simply resting there. 'Stop' and he would withdraw it in a flash. 'Dont stop' and he wouldn`t. He would know what it`s like to be inside of her... or one of his limbs would. Taking her virginity in a bathroom was not his ideal scenario, and if she happens to forgive him, he would not forgive himself. She deserved better. So much better than a casual hookup in a bathroom stall or behind a dumpster at the back of some dingy bar._

_No he had a vision for that night. The one of many he prayed. In his bedroom, the one in the So mansion, located in the west wing. Black silk sheets. Open balcony doors. The white chiffon curtains fluttering in the breeze. Two tangled bodies in the clutches of looming release. Breathy moans and pained groans as sweat coated foreheads intimately touched, laced fingers pushing into the mattress legs tightening around his waist as her release swept through her. Arching, her back bowing off the bed, vice like grip around his hips as they plunged deeply into her quivering scalding heat close to following her over the proverbial edge._

_Her hand closed over his, the fabric of her dress separating them and he stilled. This was her way of saying stop and he thanked whatever higher power that was watching them that she was strong enough to stop this before it got too far. Again._

_Quickly, he withdrew his hands, adjusting the straps over her shoulder before closing the zipper of her dress, her skin being hidden by the navy fabric. Finished, he rested his hands on her covered hips, pressing a kiss to her neck, turning her around to face him._

_She wouldn't be Ga Eul if her face was not flaming hot. Her cheek were flushed a shade of pink and her eyes wouldn't quite meet his. He tilted her face up, keeping his hand under her chin._

_"This is hardly the place to talk nor the time." He saw her nod, a flash of what was it... hurt.. disappointment.. before she masked it over. He wanted to say his eyes were deceiving him, that he was seeing what he wanted to see. That she wanted to talk this over. Maybe she was waiting for him to fight for her as she had for him before she gave up. _

_"You should go. Your best friend needs you now. He`s important"_

_"Come with me. I can have my car be brought around the back. We`ll go together!" And never to return. How he wanted to take them away to some remote place...an island of some sort. Spend the rest of time blissfully unaware of anything but each other._

_She shook her head, her eyes bright. "I can`t. My parents are outside. Those people..." He knew she would not agree. Stubborn as she was and as much it amused him, now was not the time to butt heads with her. He had to make her see that she was just as important as his friends. Damage control was perfect to start now. For so long he had dismissed her out of sheer goal to push her away. She had seen right through him when he tried to charm her into doing his bid and take her commoner friend away from Jun Pyo and he did not like that. It was both a refreshing change and downright annoying. No female showed that much of disinterest in him and he loathed how he followed her around the island like a kicked puppy seeking the approval of his new master; trying to prove that like her fellow specie how she will fall to her knees and be dazzled by him. Woo Bin had caught on his obsession, his wandering eyes, hell he had even caught him ogling her a few times on that island. In those black short. In that blue dress. But Woo Bin unlike Ji Hoo, knew when to let well alone and had stepped back while he figured out why he was taken with a simple naive girl. In his quest he had wowed her, flirted with her, pushed her away, humiliated her, and pushed her into the arms of another man. _

_He knew if he wanted her back.. free.. available to figure out where they stand together, he needed to show her how serious he was not that he was fighting to get his favorite toy back but that he, So Yi Jeong, potter extraordinaire needed her in his life more so than before. He would not forgive himself if something happened to Jun Pyo while he wasn't there and he savored the fact that she put his friend and his feelings and responsibilities over her heart. He adored that about her. She understood his needs... his wants better than he did himself and put them above her own._

_'Not for long love!'_

_He grasped her hands, raising them to his lips pressing a kiss to each on, pausing over the simple solitaire cut ring, catching the light overhead._

_"Don`t think you`ll be wearing it for long. Now we`re going to go out there, you`ll excuse yourself and go home with your family. I`ll call you tonight" _

_The phone beeped once and he knew he had to go now or he would be forever trapped here with her and he would never be happier. He let of her hands, framing her face as he pressed a fervent kiss to her forehead, breathing her in "If you don`t answer, I`ll come by your house. This time I will ring the bell." _

_With difficulty he broke away, walking backwards to the door, willing her to not look away or break eye contact. Once he closed the door, he felt a weight on his shoulder..._

Surprised, he looked down seeing the dark mane of Jan Di, resting awkwardly at his shoulder, its weight foreign and he was not comfortable letting Jun Pyo`s girl this close to him. First she loathed him for what he had done to her best friend and second the fear of Jun Pyo coming out wheeled on a bed seeing this scene added to his discomfort. He shifted, glaring when Woo Bin snickered at him, even Ji Hoo cracked a smile. Even though he defended Jan Di in front of Jun Pyo, he was weary of her. Most specifically her flying spinning kick. As not to disturb her, he eased away, cradling her head to lower it gently, sending a grateful smile when Ji Hoo offered his bundled up jacket to act as a pillow. His own was draped over her and he stepped back, stretching his aching muscles. He bowed when Jun Hee rushed, her eyes red and puffy and despite that she was the most beautiful woman ever. He walked by Woo Bin, asking if he needed coffee, smiling as the later seemed to ignore him, his focus somewhere else entirely. _Typical._ He walked to the vending machine, two of his bodyguards falling three steps behind him.

He waited as the cup was filled with steaming coffee before he walked to one of the nearby chairs. The men who were shadowing him brought their own and stood opposite from him, giving him more breathing room and for that he was grateful. He wanted to call her without someone eavesdropping on him. It was too soon for his grandfather to know about her. She did not meet the standards the elder So had deemed necessary for his daughter in law. Money and power. Beauty was an added bonus. He had seen firsthand what Jun Pyo`s ruthless mother had done to Jan Di. Protectiveness rose in him and he wanted to hide Ga Eul from the cruelty of his family, from his own cruelty. He could not defy his grandfather nor his father no matter how he loathed him. His rights as a heir would be no longer valid, he would be disowned and they would make sure that he could not find a job in Korea. Jan Di was stronger that her, and Ga Eul would be destroyed along with him.

He fetched his phone, dialing her number quickly, not pondering how his finger typed those digits by memory. The shrill tone filled his ear and after the third ring the call picked up. _Good girl._ The silence was comfortable and he was content to hear her soft breathing. A quick look at his watch. He hadn`t woken her up, had he?

"Were you sleeping?" He took a sip of his warm coffee, its rich aroma filling his nostrils as he waited for her to answer.

_"No."_ He smiled. Her voice was soft and alert, no trace of sleep. Had she waited for him? He couldn't help but want to tease her. If only he could see the blush that was bound to rise on her cheeks.

"Were you waiting for me to call you?"

_"How is Jun Pyo sunbae?"_

He allowed her to change the subject. Had he been in the mood, he would continued his teasing. "We don`t know yet. He was rushed to the emergency room for scans and tests. They are worried about his head injury. Ji Hoo said he bled a lot" Until he told her the words, the true nature of the injury was not grasped by any of them. Head injuries were serious. Blood loos was also serious. His friend had both.

_"He`ll be ok."_

"I hope so. When did you get home?"

_"Two hours ago. It seems all of Seoul was heading to the hospital where you are."_

"The perks of being a Gu." He rubbed his hand over his tired face. Looking down he debated telling her about his visit to the doctor today. He had a lot of things he wanted to tell her, to hear from her in the span of the days when she disappeared from his life. He wanted to share his new with her, as he always did.

_"Is it always like this with you?"_

"Jun Pyo has it the worst. The rest of us are just experts in escape and evade."

_"I couldn't imagine living like this. No privacy... no peace. It`s exhausting."_

He frowned, not liking how her words sounded. Was it the reason she stopped seeing him? The media would no doubt be all over her if news of any involvement with him came to light. They would murder her, chew her and spit her into little pieces especially for not being a member of the higher class as he is.

"Unfortunately it comes with our birthrights. Wouldn't you put up with it even for the person you _love_?" He challenged her, wanting her answer. She was silent and he fidgeted in his seat, anxious._  
_

_"I can and I would but..."_

"But what?"

_"Only if the person was worth it"_

He didn't know if this was fate stepping in and presenting him with his chance or was it Ga Eul`s way of telling him that he can still salvage whatever he had destroyed between them. He`ll show her that he is more than worth it.

First thing first. He had to get rid of that pesky fiancee of hers.

Lee Yoon Jae. Thanks to Ga Eul`s mother, he knew who his competition was; not that he was even in his league. Once he had his foot in the door Ga Eul has blocked, that man was history. It would all start with sitting down with her and getting everything out in the open.

"Do you have school tomorrow?"

_"Yes."_ She tried to cover her yawn but he heard it. Regretfully, he knew he had to let her sleep. There were only a few months left before she finished her high school and turn eighteen. He`d make sure she attends Shinhwa university along with him anything but was not even an option. He never felt as free or as sure of his feelings for someone. He knew he needed her. Wanted her. Desired her and craved her presence by his side for more than a week.

"Ga Eul?"

_"Yes?"_

"I have to see you. Soon"

_"You saw me tonight."_

"I meant it. We have to talk."

_"Hmm. Goodnight Yi Jeong"_

"She must be special to put this smile on your face, sunbae" He looked up, startled; said smile vanishing from his lips as Geum Jan Di stood towering over him despite her short frame. She took the seat next to him, holding her own cup of coffee "I assume it`s that pottery teacher... the one you love?" she looked at him and he debated answering her. He didn't know what Jan Di`s knowledge of what happened between him and Ga Eul. Did she have all the sordid details? But then he remembered. Jan Di vanished three days after he kissed her best friend in his studio.

"No. And I _loved_ Eun Jae!" He had no idea why, but he wanted her to know this particular information.

She arched a brow in surprise, her eyes looking for signs of lying. "Another one already? Woo Bin sunbae was right. You can charm a girl in 5 seconds." He flushed as she mentioned his seduction technique. If only she knew that her beloved boyfriend had came up with the name.

"I`ve been trying to ring Ga Eul for the past ten minutes but her phone was busy" She keyed the number and waited as it rang with no one picking up.

"She must be sleeping."

She eyed him as she pocketed the phone and he wanted to squirm. Like he said, Jan Di had always made him nervous enough to scurry away from her in fright. No wonder, she managed to tame the bull known as Gu Jun Pyo.

"Must be the fiancee" She muttered under her breath before she took a sip of her lukewarm coffee. Her eyes bulged as his and the both looked at one another, their faces no doubt in comical surprise.

"How do you know she`s engaged?"

Jan Di was ready to make up a lie to cover her slip of a tongue, in front of Yi Jeong no less. His words finally penetrated her jumbled brain. He didn't sound surprised that Ga Eul was engaged, he was surprised that _she _knew.

"How do _you_ know she`s engaged?" When none answered, she mouthed 'together' waiting for his signal, when he nodded they both answered.

"I was there." "She called me."

He told her of how he came to be in the same restaurant where the engagement took place excluding the bathroom scene. That was for his pleasure only. He now sat, facing her as she told him of how she came to know.

"Ga Eul came to work the next day. It was obvious that she was crying. President Kang had fired her father from work and debt collectors came knocking. Some were your typical bunch others were not so nice" She gave a shudder, remembering her father`s kidnapping by said people. "Yoon Jae was a co-worker of Mr. Chu at work. He was nice. Your average Korean man. I have seen him visit the Chu twice before and he took a fancy to Ga Eul. He offered to pay those debts if..."

"If what?" He had an inkling to what she was about to say next.

"If Ga Eul agreed to become his wife."

Guessing and knowing were two different things. He guessed that Ga Eul got tired of his bullshit. He now knew she had been forced into this. No not forced. She walked willingly. Anyone of them would be willing to step in and help.

Damn her and her pride.

"Sunbae!" She watched him storm away from her, his bodyguard scurrying after him. A quick text to Ga Eul and she warned her of the tornado that was coming her way at 2 AM in the morning.

**_At the other side of the hospital:_**

He watched her shoulders shake, her tears flowing down her cheeks. He ached to hold her, comfort her in her time of need. She was just as beautiful in her sorrow. He clenched his fists, shoving them in his pockets. Now was not the time nor the place. He had no rights. She took them away from him when she walked out on him two years ago. When she shoved his love in his face as she boarded the plane. He knew she didn't mean anything she said, but the end result was the same. He had been hurt. Shattered by her icy eyes and scathing words. She offered no hope and she severed all ties. And even when she reappeared several months back, she brushed him aside, as if he didn't exist anymore. So he fell into a routine of drinks and girls. Blondes with blue eyes. No brunettes. No brown eyes. They reminded him so much of her.

He took a step towards her. No one but bodyguards were there and they wouldn't suspect if he offered comfort or a shoulder or if he swooped down and kissed her. Thudding footsteps snapped him to the right and he watched as Yi Jeong walked a storm, his guards playing catch up with him. His arm shoot up, holding him in place.

"What`s wrong?"

"Ga Eul!"

He frowned. Had something happened? Again? His guards were ready as was he. If Ga Eul was in trouble, two were better than one "Is she alright? Yi Jeong. Calm down" He saw her stand up, walking to them, her hand grasping the potter`s shoulder firmly. He bristled. She was his. He brushed the irrational jealousy aside. Yi Jeong would not dare touch his girl as would the rest. It was a golden rule.

_But she`s not yours, is she?_

"Yi Jeong!" He had to give her credit. She didnt cower from the murderous look he gave her. She stood firm.

"I have to go!" His words were strong, gritted through his teeth yet his eyes pleaded with her to set him free.

"You don`t have to go Yi Jeong. You _need_ to. Which is why you_ shouldn't_ go to her. You`ll hurt her. Is that what you want?" The angry haze started to lift and he felt him relax and the soft sure words penetrated his raging mind. The guards relaxed, seeing the situation handled. And he followed them as they both sat down in those plastic chairs.

Gu Jun Hee was fucking amazing!

**_~! Fighting my way back to where you are  
The only place I ever felt at home  
Stumbling backwards through the dark  
I know how it feels to be alone  
And where we go is where I wanna be !~_**

* * *

**AN:** Hello SoEulmates lovelies! Thanks for reading and those who are reviewing. I take sole responsibilities for any spelling errors or any suckiness as I have been in an accident and have broken my arm. So this is why it took me forever to write and update. One hand can only do so much!

**tania15: You officially rock! My favorite reviewer here and for being a Max/Alec shipper! Extra brownie points for that :D**

-Sam


	7. Chapter 7

_**~!I'm not a perfect person**_  
_**There's many things I wish I didn't do**_  
_**But I continue learning**_  
_**I never meant to do those things to you**_  
_**And so I have to say before I go**_  
_**That I just want you to know!~**_

_He pulled her just a little bit closer to him. She felt so tiny and fragile. Her small hand nestled inside his, fingers slightly curled. The other one rested on his shoulder, the ring sparkled as the lights over head hit it right. His hand curved surely around her small waist, the mermaid silhouette emphasized her narrow waist and the flare of her hips. She looked like an angel that fell from heavens above as the white fabric encased her. As an artist, one could only appreciate such elegant lines and perfectly shaped bones. As a man, one could not escape the allure of goddess-like features, one that called out to men like a siren and snared them tight in her web of passion and fleshy delights. Her forehead was pressed to his chin, her eyelashes brushing over the skin in fleeting touches. His head was slightly bowing, his nose brushing the soft skin of her cheeks, her smell intoxicating him, filling him with things he`d rather not feel at the moment, swirled around him in a bubble he did not want to escape from. If there was a moment for the time to stop and freeze, now would have been the perfect opportunity. They swayed in place, the music dim, like it was played from a distant place but he could care less, not when there was a far important thing to care about. Her, in his arms. Her hand left his and rested above his heart, his free arm, curving around her other side, caging her in his embrace, relishing in her feel. He had the feeling that she wanted to burrow deep within him, as if wanting to disappear into him and be one with him and his arms tightened more, unwilling to let an inch separate them._

_He lifted his head as she looked up into his eyes. And he breathed, deeply; feeling as if he had been sucker punched. Her face was void of makeup. Shiny gloss made her lips more tempting, more kissable. Her eyes were big, long curled eyelashes. They were luminous and unbelievably beautiful. They were screaming yet her mouth stayed silent, they looked desperate, caged yet her body was relaxed, swaying with his. He trailed his hand up her sides, over her shoulder, brushing the skin bared by her dress; delighted to see goosebumps in the wake of his touch. He cupped her face, his thumb brushing her now trembling lips, feeling her body curve into his, soft womanly curves molding into hard edges in a delicious torment._

_He opened his mouth, feeling himself close to bursting with the emotions he felt; ones she ignited in him. He felt ready. He felt sure. This was the time to tell her. _

_"Ga Eul! I..."_

_Her finger pushed against his lips, and he waited with baited breathe as her eyes roamed his face before focusing on his lips, his own focusing on her nearing face as the distance between them was closed until barely a hairbreadth stood between them. His stomach knotted and he was almost vibrating with anticipation. _

_"Goodbye So Yi Jeong"_

His eyes snapped open and sat up abruptly in bed. His heart was thudding something fierce and the force almost threatened to break his ribs. He felt out of breath like having been running a marathon. His body ached. His head ached and his chest tightened something funny and he rubbed his hand over it, feeling the strong 'thumps' his heart was making. He took a deep breath, followed by another until he felt himself start to relax. His eyes adjusted to the darkness easily. Years of brooding in the dark had that effect and he liked it that way. In the shadows no one would see his tears or hear the muffled sobs of a terrified child fearing his mother`s leaving. In the dark no one saw Yi Jeong without his mask. No one knew of his weakness and the bubbling emotions just beneath his skin. Outwardly, he was a wicked playboy, always in control of his emotions. His eyes betrayed nothing and were cold. His smile was mocking, amused and calculated. He could count the times he smiled freely, happily, not the farce of a smile that faked people.

Completing his first clay model at the age of three.

The proud pat on the head by his grandfather.

His late grandmother`s rice cake.

Molding clay with Eun Jae as kids.

His first debut at the Biennale and being selected by UNESCO .

His first Mustang.

Seeing Jan Di connect her spinning kick to Jun Pyo`s face.

Skating with Ga Eul on their second fake date.

He didn`t exactly have what you would call a happy childhood.

None of the F4 did. Jun Pyo was left left behind in a larger than life mansion. Ji Hoo was raised by butlers and maids. Woo Bin had an estranged father and his mother was gunned down in front of him. And him.. he scoffed. His parents were there and he wished they didn`t.

He shook his head, not ready to start thinking of her yet and the predicament she was in. He had promised Jun Hee he would not seek her out while he was angry, and thoughts of her at the moment had him raging mad. He winced as the movements sent his vision swimming. His mouth felt dry and the need to drink a whole gallon of water was gnawing at him. Kicking back the expensive sheets, he swung his legs, setting them on the floor. His clothes from last night were rumbled. His jacket and tie were lying on an armchair near the balcony doors. His silk dress shirt was unbuttoned, his pants wrinkled, hanging low on his waist. At least he had the mind to take off his shoes. He stood up, shrugging the soiled shirt to drop on the floor. He walked to his windows, kicking an empty bottle of whiskey away, pressing a button and the curtains opened. Sunlight filled the room and the urge to go back and hide underneath the cover was tempting.

A tentative knock on the door sounded and after a gruff 'come in', the large mahogany door opened. His personal butler as well as the maids assigned to his wing stood in a neat line, awaiting his instructions.

"Good morning young master!" He bowed and the uniformed maids followed suit. One stepped forward, her head bowed down. She held a tray in front of him and he swallowed the pills before gulping the glass of water completely. She retreated to her spot, her head still down.

He took off his watch and another maid hurried past him, the shower came on a minute later. Sometimes he thanked whomever was in control out there for landing him in a rich family. At the state he was in, he could not imagine running to get the shower ready.

"Your father and mother are expecting you at the breakfast table in an hour, sir" He rolled his neck, feeling the tension settle again in his muscles. He nodded stiffly and moved towards the master bathroom. Stripping of his pants, he kicked them away not caring about the five thousand dollar suit. He chanced a look at the mirror, his reflection staring back at him, hair sticking up in every direction. He pushed his silk boxer briefs past his hips and stepped out of them, opening the shower he stepped inside, closing it behind him.

The thick fog enveloped him in its embrace, caressing his skin. He walked under the shower head, feeling the heat of the water before touching it. He stood beneath the strong stream directly, sighing in relief. The hot water cascaded down his muscular back and over his tensed muscles, his head hung low. Hands braced against the wall, he wanted nothing more for the water caressing his skin than to be her dainty hands, for her to kiss his troubles away.

He couldn't help but chuckle. If someone saw him, the cold-blooded Casanova, having cheesy romantic fantasies about some girl who haunted his every waking minute, they would die from mocking him. Yet, he didn't care. They could mock him, laugh at him whatever they wanted just as long as he had her. The dream that seemed so far away now played behind his closed lids. But it was not a dream, not a pleasant one at that it was his mind`s way of showing what would come to pass if he stood aside and let that wedding take place. His emotions swirled. A mix of airy lightness, painful longing and boiling rage. Jun Hee was right. Had he gone to Ga Eul`s last night, he would have .. he shuddered..There was no way he`d be able to retain his control of his anger. Angry at her. At himself. At Jun Pyo`s sadistic mother. At her father`s foolishness. She would not have been spared and any headway he made with her would be flushed down the toilet. So he went home, to the So mansion. He did not go to his studio, that was on the So property for fear of being reminded by her. He did not know when he stopped seeing Eun Jae. The distant memories. The ghosts that haunted the studio. The echoing laughter of two kids running around between pots that had yet to dry. They faded and god damn her, she had imprinted her own memories instead. He knew he could not escape her for long. She has been a constant presence in his life since the moment he entered her shop. She was just always there, in the back of his mind. Smiling. Crying. Loving.

He groaned, blindly reaching for the shampoo. Squeezing a healthy amount in his palm, he scrubbed furiously, trying to claw those thoughts out. He did not know why he rebelled at the thoughts of her being in love with him. After all, wasn`t he trying to win her and her love back? If he was refusing said notion, why was he trying to restore it? He had accepted the fact that many girls did and he had left his fair share of broken hearts and teary eyes. They fed his ego. His alpha male pride that no woman was immune to him, to his charm, to his body or to his money. Yet Ga Eul loving him was an alien notion. Why would she? How could she? She had seen through the facade he presented, that girls fell in love with. She saw past the smiles, the expensive suits and pricey cars. She had seen scars. Deep ugly bleeding scars. She had seen a raging beast, rutting his shackles under the cool and calm exterior and yet she loved him, loved the dark pitiful soul.

He balked at that. That was something he did not want anyone to see, much less for Ga Eul to live through. And she had. In an evening from hell, she had asked him out on a date. She followed it by a confession of love. He hoped to let her down gently, spare her delicate feelings for she fell for one side of him. The one that teased her, picked her up and avenged her broken heart. He had suspected that she fell for the idea of a knight in shining armor, who would sweep in and rescue her. He would not put it past her, after all she believed in soulmates and happy endings. Fairy tales won`t be far behind. He had loathed himself as he put her down, made her beneath him. But that wasn`t enough. He had showed her what she did not know existed. He showed her what he would become. After all, one cannot fool its own blood. He showed her things that should have scared her, made her run as far away from him; see the man she thought she loved was only one face of the coin. She didn`t. She stayed. No matter how many times he pushed her away, told her to shut her mouth, she stayed. She stood up to him. Called him on his bullshit. Her payback was cruel. He knew regret. Regret for not going after what he wanted. Regret from keeping to himself, scared he`ll get hurt and missing out on opportunities. Chances that came once in a lifetime.

So he had sought out Eun Jae, in hopes of getting back some resemblance of a normal life. Hadn`t life been normal? More bearable with her around? But wind never blows in the same place twice. Once it`s gone, it never returns. He knew that before he heard those words. In the darkness of his studio, he had seen flashes of a young girl, bickering with him, despite her small frame, she stood strong, telling him that hope was not lost, that his hand will mold again. The scene vanished and he had been left in the dark. He remembered the wind. It must have been an opened window but he remembered it. His hair moved slightly, tickling his face with the feathery touches startling him out of his thoughts. It was gentle, and it was soothing. And just as sudden, it had passed and his stomach knotted. He had settled in his seat, the light now turned on. Seconds later and the door was pushed opened and she had stepped in, more like stumbled in and he caught her or so he thought. In the end she had caught him. She picked him up from where he knelt and walked him to his car. In a daze he barely heard her. The wind was picking up stronger than ever. And she left. She always left him, taking the wind wherever she went.

He concluded. Ga Eul was a chance to redeem himself. To start over new. To move on. That much he could admit. He wanted her. He respected her, a new found pride, for being there when the going got tough. And she made him laugh. He wanted to allow himself to open up to her, and at the Namsan stairs was the first step he took towards her and she left. Had taken the wind with her. Not completely but enough to know that one never knows what he got until its gone. The wind was dimming and within three months time it would leave.

For good.

_No!_

He stepped under the shower, rinsing his hair. The soupy water traveled down the length of his body, swirling around his feet before disappearing down the drain. He lost Eun Jae before and he had been almost devastated. Losing Ga Eul, so newly found would kill him. He just had to end whatever she had tangled herself into and they could resume their rightful places, with one another. Even if this thing with her did not mount to anything, she was a good person. She did not deserve to condone herself to a loveless marriage. He bristled. Tense, the idea of her purity tarnished and stolen in a business deal did not settle well.

He would show that wind thief.

She was_ his._

With a renewed strength and a bubbling sense of hope, he washed his body, feeling energized. And he let the smile blossom on his face as he wrapped the towel securely around his waist. He headed out, the steam escaping from the once closed room. He looked at his bed, the silk sheets draped sensually. For the first time he entertained the thought of a female sleeping in his personal bedchamber, in his bed, wrapped in his sheets.

Yes. Ga Eul would look just perfect here.

_**Thirty minutes later...**_

Jun Marie surveyed the table silently. The 16 chair oak table was deserted save her and So Kyung Sung. The head of the So family and her father in-law was seated at the head of the table, his face hidden behind the morning paper. The occasional flicks and rustling of paper disturbed the silence that has descended on the table. She sighed, tugging at her long sleeves. It was too warm to wear them, but being a So`s daughter in-law forced her to uphold appearances. She felt the thick gauze that wrapped around her wrists. A reminder of her latest trip to the hospital and her ruined white shirt.

_I should have changed before I slit them open! _

Blood was an inconvenience. She might as well through that bloody rag.._  
_

_"Marie..."_

She straightened her shoulders, her gaze flickering across the room. The old man was still immersed in his paper. No one was at the table and the maids were all in the kitchen, not that anyone would dare to call her by her given name. She shook her head, once, twice but she knew she heard it. The whispered word had deafened her, the tone scratchy. A 'whoosh' sounded by her ear and she turned her head, her heart slamming against her chest and she wondered had the pills started to work. Had she taken the wrong one? Was she overdosing?

'_NO! I was supposed to try again next week!'_

Her hand clawed at her neck, fearful. Her breathing was shallow and once again she felt herself fall into the grips of a panic attack.

_"Jun Marie..." _Her name sounded again in a sing-song tone, followed by a maniacal laughter. Something clamped on her shoulders, broken fingers curling inside her flesh. Drops of blood fell on her creamy dress, tainting the flawless fabric. She kept looking at the swinging locket, swinging in front of her, bloody. She knew whom it was without looking up. It was her. Her who tormented her every waking moment.

_"Jun Marie"_

Someone was shaking her, almost too roughly.

"Jun Marie!" She looked up, expecting to see the bloody face that haunted her.

"Jun Marie!" The voice was old, firm. She finally saw him. So Kyung Sung. She looked at her clothes. No blood. No eerie voice. No bloody woman.

"She`s probably faking it!"

"Enough Hyun Sub!" He boomed, enough to startle her, and the room she was in came into focus. "Jun Marie, are you well child?"

She nodded, still dazed. She accepted the water he handed her, grasping the yellow pill she was supposed to take before she came down. She watched him go back to his chair, glaring at the glass of whisky his son had brazenly put in front of him. They both turned to watch her. One`s skeptic and the other was hateful. He did not bother to sugarcoat it. It was always there. In his eyes. In his words. In his actions. In his touch, the night that resulted in Yi Jeong. He had not laid a single finger on her for twenty years. He had left her bed twenty years ago. He hated her and had no qualms about expressing it unless they were in public. Image was everything for the So family.

"Abeonim! Have you talked to Yi Jeong yet?" She ignored her husband, and she used term loosely. He was never hers. Not even physically. She was the heir maker. Nothing more.

"I will. We should worry about his hand now. It`s of most importance." He folded the paper and a maid, bowing, removed it from the table. He must have seen her displeased look "I shall talk to him once he turn twenty. He should be recovered by then."

Even Hyun straightened in his chair, setting the amber drink down. He looked at his father, questioning "What do you mean recovered by then?"

"Should you tell them Yi Jeong or should I?"

Hyun looked at his youngest son. He loathed to admit it, but his boy resembled him and for that he was glad he had nothing from his mother other than this urge to defend her from him. Il Hyun was more like his mother than Yi Jeong and yet he still bailed on her. He was just as whiny and spoiled and when his younger brother showed more talent and gift than him he left because he could not live in the shadows. Yi Jeong did him proud. He`d rather die first before admitting that though.

Jun Marie soared with happiness. Her pride and joy was here. He`d stand by her. He`ll keep his father in line. He`ll keep the ghosts at bay. Yes. As long as she had him with her, nothing will happen. Yi Jeong had to stay with her. Forever.

"Father!" He stiffly bowed, before turning to plant a kiss on her cheek. He felt a pang of guilt. His mother looked happy to see him and he spent the last week between his studio and Ga Eul`s. He had paid little mind to what was happening with his family. His mother most precisely.

"Yi Jeong! What is your grandfather talking about?" She asked, worry filling her. Nothing can happen to her boy.

"I have seen a physician for my hand. There is a procedure to correct the damage, however the only place that performs such procedures is in Sweden."

Her father in-law nodded, showing his approval. "I`ll accompany him. Hyun Sub will take over until our return." His words were final and she felt the ground ready to give from underneath her, ready to swallow her whole. Her Yi Jeong can`t leave...

"How long?"

"Six weeks with physical therapy. I`ll be home in time for my party. I am sure Umma will take care of that!"

She smiled at him, nodding. She watched in a daze as dishes filled the table.

_Yi Jeong was leaving her..._

_**At the hospital...**_

She looked at his sleeping face. It was smooth, no scowls or angry snarls. He looked content and her heart ached for her baby brother. Her hand brushed the stubborn curls. Her heart squeezed. Jun Pyo should not be lying here, fighting for his life. He should be with his friends, with Jan Di. She looked at the sleeping girl. Her body was in an uncomfortable position and yet she slept soundly. She had refused to leave his side. She stood up, tucking the sheet the nurses gave them around the small girl`s shoulders.

The door pushed open and she turned. Ji Hoo`s bloodshot eyes caught her equally puffy ones. His appearance was of a calm composed man yet his eyes showed the raging tides. Ji Hoo seemed to be always screaming from the inside.

"Any change?" His voice was soft, afraid to disturb the sleeping people.

She looked at him for a moment before looking Jun Pyo, her eyes lingering on the machines hooked to him. It was funny. Her baby brother always seemed larger than life and now he was lying her helpless. It was all too much to handle. Her throat tightened and a sob wanted to bubble through. Covering her mouth, she fled the room. She just had to get out of there.

Ji Hoo made to follow her but he stopped, Woo Bin`s already hot on her heels. He walked by the sleeping Jan Di, occupying the chair Jun Hee was in. The constant beeping of the machine soothed him. It kept beeping, annoyingly so, but it calmed him. Just as long it kept beeping, it meant Jun Pyo was still alive. Was still here.

"You _have_ to wake up"

~!~

He stood by the door, staring. If he had any superpowers now would be the time for them to manifest and show themselves. He wished he could see through it, glimpse at what was happening on the other side. Breaking down the door, while easy, was unnecessary. At least yet.

He waited. For several tortuous seconds, there was nothing but silence. He shook his head of thoughts he`d rather not happen. Jun Hee would not do something to herself. She was stronger. He tried the handle, cursing when the door stayed locked. Keeping him out and keeping her in.

"Jun Hee!" He rapped on the door, pressing his ear for any noise. Any movement. Anything. The sound of an open faucet caused him to exhale a sigh of relief. It was short-lived however. Even over the water there was no mistaking the broken sounds. She was crying.

Woo Bin hated crying women. More specifically he hated a crying Jun Hee. He never knew what to do or what to say when there was a hysterical woman within touching distance. Ji Hoo was always in charge of such matters and he wanted to run get him or maybe he should have stayed behind while he took over this... situation.

_But this is Jun Hee!_

_My Jun Hee..._

"Come on Jun Hee! Open the door" If possible the crying intensified and worry settled in. At the rate she was going, she was bound to make herself sick, possibly land herself a bed next to her brother. She ignored him and he sighed, feeling helpless and Song Woo Bin hated feeling helpless.

"I`ll break the door, Jun Hee! Open the damn door!" He rolled his shoulders, readying his body. He knew one thing. Either she`ll come out on her own or he`ll force his way in. The water stopped and he held his breath, waiting.

"Go away!" Her voice was hoarse and scratchy and he pressed his forehead against the cold door. He hated seeing her like this. She had been his weakness. His Achilles heels. She still was. It was impossible for him to bear those tears. And he flashed back to a time where she sounded the same and asked him the very same thing. She told him to leave and never come back. He was young then and had agreed. This time he was staying. He wasn`t going anywhere. "Just open the door," He swallowed hard. God damn her for making him this weak "_Jagiya, please!"_

His shoulders sagged. The lock turned and the handle was pushed down. He stepped back and the door opened revealing her. Her eyes were red, her cheeks blotchy. She looked miserable and utterly fragile. Her lips were trembling, eyes filling with tears. He ate the distance between them and with a forceful tug, he caged her tight, his arms locking her in his embrace. He closed his eyes as her frame shook violently against his.

_**At Ga Eul`s school several hours later...**_

She saw him leaning against his car. Her steps halted as he waved at her. He had spotted her and there was no way to escape him. Waving to her friends, she hugged her books to her chest, trying to put as much barriers between them. As she got closer, she had to admit that he looked good in a suit. He filled it right and several teachers were eyeing him but he paid no mind. His eyes were solely on her. His smile was warm and honest and it put her at ease. He took her books and bag from her, his eyes looking at her uniform.

She tugged the skirt self-consciously and even though it reached mid thigh, she felt naked. "I could go home and change if you want?" She offered.

He shook his head, his smile never wavering "It`s more than fine, Ga Eul. Shall we?" He opened the door for her and she stepped in, watched as he closed the door and joined her behind the wheel.

"Yoon Jae-ssi, where are we going?"

_**Meanwhile at the Chu residence...**_

Min Ran sat beside her husband and she held her smile. The soothing aroma of the tea filled the room. The silence stretched on and she felt compelled to break it, to put both at ease, the young man more. Poor thing looked as if sitting on pins and needles but she had to admit. He was a handsome man, more so up close. The brief meeting in the restaurant had not been enough. The mesmerizing eyes, the dimpled smile when he greeted her. He was such a charmer.

_No wonder Ga Eul fell for you!_

"So you say you have got a proposition for me," Her husbands firm voice broke the silence and she watched the other man nod not cowering from the steely gaze.

"I am listening So Yi Jeong!"

**_~!I've found a reason for me_**  
**_To change who I used to be_**  
**_A reason to start over new_**  
**_And the reason is you_**  
**_I've found a reason to show_**  
**_A side of me you didn't know_**  
**_A reason for all that I do_**  
**_And the reason is you!~_**


	8. Chapter 8

_**~!You always hurt the one you love  
The one you shouldn't hurt at all  
You always take the sweetest rose  
And crush it till the petals fall**__**!~**_

_**Meanwhile at the Woo Sung Museum... **_

So Hyun Sub loved pottery. From the tender age of 3, he had followed the footsteps of his father So Kyung Sung. The pottery God looked down upon him and blessed him with the talents needed to carry out the legacy of the So family. Said talent came with a price; a heavy one at that. It brought fame, money, power and cemented his family`s place in the world of pottery. It meant he had to dress a certain way, act, eat and talk a certain way and most of all he had to marry a certain way. A So daughter in law had to have money and power equaling to the ones the So possessed. Beauty, as his father deemed temporary, was not really a must-have factor but rather an added bonus. After all with all the money in the world, beauty can be bought. Plastic surgeries were routine procedures. Fuller lips, leaner body, bigger breasts... everything was so easily transformed and no one would be the wiser. And if it`s one thing Hyun Sub learned one can never beautify its soul.

He dropped the papers on the desk with a heavy sigh. The act of choosing the newest art display not holding any appeal as opposed to his thoughts at the moment. He pushed away from the desk, stretching his long limbs and aching muscles after being in the same position for the last hour. He stood, looking at the now cold coffee in disdain. It was left untouched since the secretary brought it to him. He walked around the desk, coming to stand before the window. His eyes took in the busy street bellow. Cars coming and going. A woman walking her dog. A boy holding what appeared to be his younger sister`s hand. Hyun Sub felt like he was stuck in an ivory tower, alone, looking as life passed before him, uncaring that he was not moving or passing with it, that he was stuck; frozen in a moment long gone. Life continued around him and he was content to be stuck in a moment from 24 years ago. His eyes zeroed on a couple setting on bench, oblivious to everything but one another. They were huddled together, the male whispering in the female ear before she punched his shoulder. He smiled, wistful, envious of them. They did not have a care in the world and he would sell his fortune just to have a moment of peace. His hand rested on his chest, above his heart. His hand pressing on his jacket pocket, knowing what hid there, safe, slightly torn around the edges from years and years of possession.

He pulled out the worn pictures, gazing at it. Shakily, his fingers traced the bright smile, the big laughing eyes before touching the long silky locks, as if he could feel them through the aging paper. It captured her beauty. Her soul. Immortalized a moment of time where she was happy. Where she was his. He pulled the folded half that was always hidden. It stood as a reminder of what once was, what would never be again. He looked at a younger version of himself. No grey locks. No wrinkles. What stood out the most was that Hyun Sub was happy, while he was not.

_"Ara..."_

Twenty four years have passed and the pain remained the same. It did not lessen nor did it go away. It was there. Always with him, just like the picture he carried with him everyday and everywhere. The loss was bitter and he lived with the consequences everyday. Jun Marie.

He had his fair share of enemies and ill-wishers, but he hated none like he hated his wife and the mother of his two sons. A despicable human being one would call him, but how he wished one of Jun Marie`s suicide attempts would succeeded. That he did not have to live with her, a reminder of his shameful act, of his stupidity and of his weakness.

_"I should have looked for you, Ara!"_

He had met Ara Ji in a farmer`s market on a summer day. He had been wandering in the nearby ceramic corner, looking at the local and humble designs. A habit of his and it had already fruited in numerous vases and bowls for the museum and his growing personal collection.

_He bowed his head, thanking the old lady for her gesture. The flawless green of the apple appealed to his artistic eye. Taking a bite, he chewed, enjoying how the juicy fruit rolled around in his tongue. He continued his walk between the stands of various fruits and vegetables. His hands shot out as the body he bumped into lost its balance upon the non-gentle collusion. Once he steadied the person, he took a glance at them. Her dark hair covered the side of her face. It was long and shiny, like a waterfall of mercury water cascading on her narrow shoulders._

_"I am sorry miss!" He let go of her arms, taking a step back as she bent to collect the items that fell from her basket. He joined her, out of curiosity more than chivalrousness. Her hair mesmerized to the point of wanting to see the face it hid. Call it the womanizer in him for wanting to uncover the hidden beauty. He knelt beside her, helping her. She flipped her hair and he almost fell on his behind from the shock. What a beauty she was. Plain vanilla considering the company of girls he kept but she was far more prettier. Creamy skin, big round eyes; surrounded by thick lashes and not an ounce of makeup. Her face had smudges of dirt and coal, sweating from the heat of the sun but it did not diminish her beauty not by one bit. His smile stretched as blush spread from his bold gaze and he watched as it traveled from her neck up to her full round cheeks. He was still smiling as she scurried away, rushing to get away from him._

That had been the first time he had met Ara. It never failed as each week he went to the same market and he saw her everytime. For a month their only exchange was a smile and an instant blush. Another week had passed and approached her and it spiraled from there. Away from home he was just Hyun Sub, not the So heir and future owner of the Woo Sung and she was Ara, a commoner girl who worked along with her brother at rich family serving as a maid and a gardener for them. She was not ashamed of her status nor did he care for it. For months he was happy, blissfully unaware of anything but her. He remembered clearly when he came to pick her up from work, after much fighting and she had agreed to go with him at the end of the week. That`s when he met Jun Marie. Beautiful and rich, she was the daughter in law the So clan looked for. He had greeted her after all he had manners but as soon as Ara came to him, he had only eyes for the girl holding a small basket that had seen better days. He had forgotten that Jun Marie was there but Jun Marie did not. Twenty four years later, he was married to Jun Marie not Ara Ji.

_"Mr. So"_ He looked towards the intercom, hastily pocketing the picture back into its safe place as he tucked the painful memories away to the back of his mind. He walked to his chair and sat. "Yes, Amy" Amy had been one of his many lovers. The american beauty appreciated a no strings attached deal, which made her one of his favorite and frequent bed-mates.

_"The financial adviser wants to see you. He says it`s urgent!"_

"Send him in and Amy,"

_"Yes, Mr So"_

"Bring us some tea"

He gathered the pictures, trying to clean some of the mess that cluttered the desk. He knew he`d have to finish and make his decision today. Their was a firm knock on the door before it was opened. He gestured for the adviser to sit in, as he finished organizing the papers. Once done, the door opened and two cups of steaming coffee were placed in front of the two men. Hyun waited until the door was closed before he turned to the man opposite of him.

"What can I do for you Dong Hee?"

He saw him shuffle through the file he brought along with him before finding what he was looking for. He set the file aside, approaching the desk slowly.

"Mr So. You instructed us to inform you of any suspicious activities or large withdraws from the bank accounts in Korea or the overseas accounts"

He nodded taking a sip of his tea. He took the paper Dong Hee placed in front of him.

"Young master So Yi Jeong withdrew 20 million won this morning"

Hyun Sub congratulated himself on keeping his face neutral as he read the bank statement. It was done shortly after they left the mansion.

"Thank you Dong Hee, you can leave now"

He watched him collect his file and bow. Just when he reached the door, Hyun reminded him.

"Dong Hee, I trust this matter stays between us. Father should not be bothered with such trivial things" He watched him nod before leaving the office.

He looked at the paper. Why would Yi Jeong withdraw 20 million won in cash? It couldn't be for his upcoming the surgery. After all, why risk carrying large sum of money when it can be transferred into another account overseas safely?

He looked up as the door opened again. Instead of seeing Amy or Yi Jeong, So Kyung Sung walked in and he saw the apologetic face of Amy, saying she had no time to warn him before his father barged in.

He offered his chair to his father. He still had some manners. He walked to the minibar, knowing he`ll need the drink, the stronger the better, to face what his father had to say. He flopped on the leather couch, taking a healthy swig of his whisky. Clearing his throat, he looked at the elder So.

"What can I do for you father?"

Hyun Sub`s stomach dropped as the next words almost deafened his ears.

"We need to talk about Yi Jeong"

**~!~**

The click of expensive heels against the pavement alerted Lee Soo Hee to his nearing guest. He dusted off his overalls before using the back of his hand to wipe off his sweaty forehead. Even if the cool breeze of a nice spring afternoon blew every now and then, hours of gardening and digging; his hard labor was rewarded with sweating and aching muscles.

"Soo Hee!"

He had his back to her as he put the tools in the nearby wheelbarrow. His back stiffened and a look of pure hatred filled his eyes. How he loathed to greet the despicable human being that destroyed his sister`s life with no regards to anything but her selfish happiness. He knew pretending he never heard her was not in the cards for him today. He turned around, purposely keeping the dirty gloves on. Putting his hand with her was the one thing he could and would forever avoid.

"Madam So" He bowed slightly and he took a look at her.

Whenever Jun Marie stopped by to visit her parents, he took in her. After all, she was his first crush and what not but that was before she decided she wanted something that belonged to his sister and one of her maids. He and Ara had been brought up along with their father in the Kim manner. He was a few years older than Ara and Jun Marie. The Kim family were so kind and considerate with them. Ara and Jun Marie entertained in play dates and running around the vast gardens. Jun Marie was beautiful. Long hair, soft skin and her clothes were just as beautiful. She had grown up and he fell in love. How could he not? She resembled everything he couldn't have. And one always desired the forbidden things. It wasn't until his sister fell in love and her lover, a rich handsome man showed up that Jun Marie changed. She spent more time with Ara, inquiring about the man and soon jealousy and envy blinded her. It lasted less than a month. His sister left her job and her man and went back to their grandmother`s house in some fishing village. Two months later, Jun Marie and Hyun Sub were married and expecting their first born in a nine months time. Ara had been devastated beyond belief. The betrayal of a man she had given everything to had been too much to handle. He had been on his monthly visit to check on his sister when he caught the two arguing. Next thing he knew a drunk driver struck Ara, killing her instantly. His love along with his sister had died that afternoon, twenty three years ago.

"Nonsense. We have been friends close to a half of a century long and yet you always call me Miss Kim or Madam So. Jun Marie is more than fine"

"What can I do for you Madam So?"

She bristled but didn't show any outwardly sign of her irritation. It didn't matter that she was trying to mend the fences, ease her guilt as to what had happened in the past. Soo Hee was persistent and boy was he good at holding a grudge.

"I came to offer my congratulations. Yoon Jae`s engagement has pleased me. How is the bride to be?"

"She`s wonderful. If you meet her, you would wish her to be your own daughter in-law!"

"Well then. Do give Yoon Jae my sincere happy wishes."

He bowed as she walked away toward the huge front door of her parent`s mansion. His phone rang and he took the dirty gloves off.

"Yoon Jae-ah! How are you son?"

_"Father. I am doing good. I am taking Ga Eul to see my sister. We will see you at dinner time"_

"You`re telling her?"

_"Yes, father. I`ll be going in now. Be careful"_

_You too son. You too._

_**The next afternoon...**_

Woo Bin was not a man too keen on faith and belief in an unseen deity. It was hard to convince a thirteen year old boy of God`s goodness and love for him when his own mother was shot and killed in front of him. Often he had wondered, how can this love from an unseen father translate into taking the only family he had? Yet he liked to believe that his mother was in this so called heaven, in a better place than this ugly world. So he only attended church for two occasions. One being the Jun Pyo`s almost wedding and the other Jun Hee`s wedding two years ago. On those two occasion he went against his will and was not happy to be there in the house of 'God'. He was forced to witness the almost nuptials of his best friend who was in love with someone else and the girl caught in the middle. He was forced to stand in the back, drunk with a broken heart, struggling against the vice grip of Yi Jeong and his bodyguards as Jun Hee promised forever to another man. He had been seventeen at that time, his birthday nearing. He had it planned down to the very last detail when she had sprung the news on him. She had left him, boarded the plane only to return a week later to be married to some rich asshole.

Like he said. Him and churches were not a match made in heaven.

Yet here he was in one, surrounded by flickering candles, dimmed lights and Jesus crucified on an altar of worship with Jun Hee standing at the end of the aisle.

_Deja Fucking Vu!_

She was on her knees, her shoulders shaking in time with the sobs bubbling from her. The news have been surprising as there was no indication of it happening at least so soon. At 10 in the morning, Jun Pyo had woken, in pain but the bullheaded heir that had slipped into a coma for the last day and night had twitched his fingers and almost gagged at the tubes that helped him breathe during his beauty sleep. Ji Hoo and Jun Hee were with him when it happened and an hour later, he had Jan Di clutching her seat as he and Yi Jeong drove to the hospital.

At 11 AM, Jun Pyo confirmed that he remembered everyone and everything important. Everyone but Jan Di. Needless to say it had shocked just about everyone, the only one thrilled was Satan as he referred to the wicked witch of the west AKA Jun Pyo`s mother.

The little church/chapel/room was void of life. It was just them. And for the first time Woo Bin appreciated this place of worship. He walked towards her, aching to hold her again like he had yesterday. To soothe away her fears. Brush the scalding tears from her soft cheeks. Two years later he still loved her just as before and maybe a little bit more. He matured. He had seen more to life and more he had come to cherish the moments they had for however brief. He`d come to love the little thing that made Jun Hee, Jun Hee. Her habit of wearing his shirts, parading her long silky legs in front of him. It suited her better than a hundred thousand dollar gown. Her habit of picking the green pepper and tossing them to him, knowing he`d eat them. Her worst being how she`d cling to him as they recovered from the physical bless. She`d have this glow about her as she buried her face in the crook of his neck, leaving her scent behind.

_Those were the days!_

Now, she couldn't look him in the eyes nor stay in the same room as him for more than a few minutes and alone time were next to impossible the bathroom scene from yesterday excluding. He was lucky that Jun Pyo had been so caught up with Jan Di and the storm that came with her to notice why his Noona and his best friend were awkward around one another. The awkwardness associated with ex-lovers.

He reached her and she seemed to have felt the presence of another person. Bending, he curled his hands under her arm, swiftly pulling her to her feet, keeping her steady. The silky shirt was given no care as she wiped her cheeks and nose clean.

"I am fine!"

He snorted and she glared "Obviously!"

She shrugged and took a step back and he allowed her the space needed to recollect herself yet stayed close enough as to not be kept outside the walls she was about to build.

"Where is everyone?"

"Ji Hoo is with Jan Di. I am here and Yi Jeong is on his way to meet one Chu Ga Eul!"

"Maybe you should have gone with him. Yi Jeong can get.."

"Scary?" he offered when her sentence trailed off.

"I was going to say intense but yes, he can get scary"

He sat down on one of the benches, his eyes following the rapid flickering of the candles. Jun Hee looked at him, his face blank and it bothered her that Woo Bin had become harder to read with each passing minute. She always had the ability to read each one of the boys, Woo Bin in particular; a reason that made them close, a reason why it was his arms she fell into rather than the beautiful Ji Hoo or the dashing Yi Jeong.

"Yi Jeong will never hurt Ga Eul!" She knew that. But wanting and doing were two different things. Yi Jeong would never hurt Ga Eul yet he may unintentionally do so by his actions or words.

"But then again, aren't you supposed to always hurt the ones you love?" His words sliced through her, sharper than any knives yet the blade felt dull as it cut with ugly edges around wounds that never fully healed. The conversation shifted from Yi Jeong and Ga Eul to uncharted water.

The rock tone of his phone interrupted the silence and she was grateful for it. She saw him glance at the ID before cancelling the call. A minute later, it picked up before he cancelled again.

"You should get that. It`s probably some poor girl waiting for you in bed!" She did not detect the icy tone until it was too late. He had heard it and she might as well screamed '_Hello, Jealousy yooohooo!'._

"Didn't know you cared!"

"I _don`t!__" _His body turned towards her and he trapped her, both arms around her body, keeping her in place. This was the one conversation she refused to have in a church when he looked stubborn enough to do it.

"Does it bother you? That a willing girl... no make that _girl**s **_took your place? That they keep my bed warm? Wear my shirts like you did? " His voice hot, low and sensual as he breathed the words across her skin, almost caressing her with their wickedness. He leaned back slightly, their faces mere inches apart. Her eyes dilated from the effect of having him near again, shoved into her personal space, so very aware of Woo Bin. They appeared black and the fire of the candles danced in the irises, temptingly. "That they made me scream their name over and ove-"

She didnt know why the sudden feeling of possessiveness swept through her, angry, snarling and demanding a reclaim and she could do nothing but response to its demands. Her hand curled in his reddish locks almost painfully, and she felt pure satisfaction when she heard his quick drawn breath, bringing his head down for a bruising kiss. She parted her lips, silently inviting him to taste her, nudging his to allow her a taste she had long denied herself of.

His mouth was hot and wild, hard and deep, their breaths mingling, growing unsteady and shallow. She shuddered, delicious tremors passing through her body. He was danger, forbidden fruit, sexiness, lust, passion, anger. _Love._

She tilted her head to the side, increasing the slant of her head, tucking hers more firmly into his shoulder, arousing her, consuming her. His tongue tangled with her, wet , tracing in a wicked pattern she had long forgotten. She felt his hand, rough and strong as they traced the curves of her side, caressing the swell of her hips.

It whispered around him, teasing his control. He heard her, breathless, as she murmured his name as they broke away, staring at one another, her mind swirling with one true fact.

She still loved him.

Beneath the physical presence she could sense the changes her decision brought on. He was darker, more dangerous. She had tasted fury, frustrations, the needs he buried, ones that were fighting their way back to the surface.

Yet she still loved him. Loved this.

His expression was hard, his lips gleaming from the moisture of their kiss. He was furious

"I didn't mean this..." she tried to backtrack, she had shown too much.

He nodded, his face stony, eyes thunderous "Good! Because I don`t mean this either" His mouth was hard, bruising, punishing.

Yes. He still loved her.

**_The Porridge Shop..._**

She tied the apron around her waist. She sighed, dreading the day ahead already. Jan Di was at the hospital, shaken up by the memory loss of Jun Pyo`s. Master had gone to the market to replace the the mixing bowl that shattered this morning. She pushed her sleeves up before removing the ring that rested heavily and weighed her down, the previous evening adding to its weight and the guilt it carried around. Yoon Jae`s sister had been an angel. Sweet, cheeky and sick ridden since she was ten. Four years later, she was still ill yet the smile never wavered from her face and she had been so happy when they stopped by to visit her before going to see Yoon Jae`s parents. The evening had been an emotional drain and it had taken her all night to process the hospital visit, the dinner and the news Yoon Jae had entrusted her with. The icing to the cake was the sight of the orange car parked across the street, its windows tinted black. She didn't need to see in order to know who it was. There was only on orange Lotus in Seoul that knew her neighborhood. Choosing this particular car, knowing it would be impossible to miss, she knew just who sat behind the wheel. And if the angry roar as it sped away after the kiss on the cheek, he might as well screamed it after lowering the hood down. Add to that, her parents were acting odd. Trading looks and whispered words. She had went to bed around twelve, finishing her homework and did not find sleep until dawn had broken.

A little chirp filled the small shop as the bell above the door jingled, singling an arriving customer. Placing the ring on the counter, she rounded from behind it. The front of the shop was unusually dark as the blinds were shut. The sound of the lock turned snapped her attention to the door. There he stood, blocking the exit as he pocketed the key. His smile was lazy. Dangerous.

"The back door is locked as well!"

She was trapped here with him. An every girl`s dream and her nightmare.

"Yi Jeong sunbae, what are you doing here?" She tried to keep her voice steady, not allowing fear to take hold of her. That would only give him the advantage.

"I know why you agreed to marry that fool!" Her face showed her surprise before she could mask it. He was in front of her in a flash, running the back of his knuckles against her cheeks. His voice soft, soothing as if talking to a deer ready to flight. "I have given your father the money to pay off the debt and before you get your lacy panties in a twist, he`ll work at the museum to pay it off. See I know you"

Her heart pounded and she was positive he could hear it thudding away, the sound almost deafening as blood rushed to her temples. This was it. He had offered her a way out. He had bought her freedom back and in a way that has not wounded her pride or her parent`s. She knew why she loved him now, loved him still. Underneath the cold and dark exterior, a gentle soul laid dormant. Coming to live at times like these.

He cupped her cheeks, seeing the tears quickly fill her eyes before slipping free. She would not be Ga Eul if she did not cry. In the street, in his car. Moments that showed him, whether sadness or happiness, Ga Eul would cry. Emboldened, he stepped closer. An arm around her waist pushed her snugly against him, the other still cupping her now wet cheek.

Pressing a small kiss at the crown of her head, he pulled her head closer, relishing in her warmth, in the her perfect fit. It troubled him how close he had gotten to losing that, to losing her. When her frame started to shake harder, he pulled back, worried and it came apparent that those were not tears of happiness or gratitude.

"What is it?" He didn't want to scare her, unlike her tears. They were scaring him, very much so.

"I can`t!"

"You can`t what? Whatever it is, we can work it out!" he brushed her hair back, her now reddening eyes filling him with guilt. He always made her cry.

"No Yi Jeong. You don`t understand." She twisted and pulled away, putting needed distance between them. He frowned, following her as she picked up the remaining dishes. He took the tray from her, placing it back on the table. His stomach knotted and his heart started racing.

"Then help me understand"

"I am not breaking the engagement off. I am not leaving Yoon Jae!"

Her words had an air of finality to them. Was he too late?

_**~!You always break the kindest heart  
With a hasty word you can't recall, so  
If I broke your heart last night  
It's because I love you most of all...**__**!~**_

* * *

**This is now rated T. Any M rated scenes or higher will be posted on Google docs and I`ll provide the link in a regular update here. I realize anyone can access it but it will be on them not me. Those chapters will not affect the plot line in terms of confusion or missing out. **

**Thank you! **

**-Sam**


	9. Chapter 9

**_~!I was blown away._**  
**_What could I say?_**  
**_It all seemed to make sense._**  
**_You've taken away everything,_**  
**_And I can't deal with that!~_**

He let her push him away and run. The sound of the door of the little chapel as it shut close filled the silence that descended on them in the seconds before she bolted. She had kissed him, passionately so. Her lips hot, demanding as they moved over his. What she lacked in experience Jun Hee had always made it up with eagerness and an ability to pick up on things rather quickly. He pinched the bridge of his nose and Woo Bin could feel the beginning of a headache start behind his eyes. He let out a long suffering sigh, leaning his head back. The ceiling was covered with icons and paintings of saints and angels. The colors were soothing, giving out a feeling of peace and serenity. He supposed churches and places of worship should make you feel a bit lighter, less troubled than when you first walked. Maybe it was the illusion of being forgiven for sins you confessed or having a rare moment of honesty to talk with the big man running this freak show coupled with flickering candles, scented incense burning and BAM you feel better as you walk out. He looked around, seeing the place deserted of life. It was just him and...

He reached for the green scarf, letting his hand wrap around the soft silky fabric as he brought it up for close inspection. He smiled. His first smile since stepping foot into this hospital. Blind he'd know it, after all how can one forget a gift he bought. For an added confirmation or maybe just an excuse to inhale the sweet sultry smell, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose and his brain provided. _Gu Jun Hee._

The Gu heiress and the elder sister of his best friend. Three years his senior. Allergic to peanuts. Tough as nails. Took no bullshit and could hold her own in a fight, be it physical or a war of words. Yet the sight of a clown would reduce her to a mere fearful child. Stunningly breathtaking with a beauty that rivaled the one of Seo Hyun, Ji Hoo`s first love. Those were some trivial facts that all the F4 knew about her. He knew far more about her. His relationship with her, if one could call that, ensured he got a front row seat to the Jun Hee show. She'd twirl a strand of hair around her finger when deep in thought. She had gotten her first tattoo at seventeen and her first 'B' in her politics class, something that would make her mother lose her mind, or whatever was left of it because Woo Bin was sure that the old witch has lost her mind a long time ago. She'd nibble around the crust of her toast first and just on the inside curve of her thigh was a heart shaped birthmark.

He opened his eyes, setting the scarf in his lap as he took one deep breath after another, trying to calm his body some. The memories of them together in a passionate embrace coupled with their recent kiss igniting his body to a feverish state and he balked at having inappropriate thoughts in a chapel no less.

He was fifteen when it happened, or when it first started _to_ happen. But if he had to be honest, he was always aware of her the moment he realized that girls did not have cooties and they did things to his body. Being Jun Pyo`s best friend, he and the rest of their group were always together and when they visited the Gu mansion, Woo Bin and his partner in crime, Yi Jeong would always find the time to sneak off to catch a glimpse of the blossoming heiress. Hiding behind doors, squinting through narrow keyholes, gulping whenever she joined them for a dip in the pool. She was the star of teenagers wet dreams, his included.

At thirteen his mother died. In front of him. It was unexpected. Like the kind of thing you would see in movies or hear about in a newspaper never thinking that it could happen to you. Thanks to his father's shady connections, him and his mother were always in the crosshairs of their enemies. Family was a weakness in the dark world of mafias. Soon after her death and coupled with his ever absent father, the wicked playful child had turned quiet. He had began to prefer the friendship of Ji Hoo over the playfulness of Jun Pyo and Yi Jeong. Ji Hoo knew what it felt to lose a parent, to feel alone and not cared for. Maids and butlers were not supposed to replace a mother and a father.

Jun Hee had noticed. Whether from Jun Pyo`s complaining or the fact that she did not find him and Yi Jeong sprawled on the floor whenever she caught them, but she did. She started to talk to him more, including him in their games small little things that told him, he was noticed, and he was cared for. Dating came next and getting women was never easier and soon him and an equally dashing and a fellow womanizer, So Yi Jeong, formed a tag team of Don Juan and The Cold Hearted Casanova.

When he turned fifteen, the annual birthday bash was set to be more magnificent than the ones before it. His father made up for his absence with money, loads of it. His date was a tall beautiful Italian girl he met when his father arranged for the filthy rich foreign family a breathtaking mansion during their stay in Seoul. Yi Jeong had teased him and dared him into stealing a kiss from the unattainable beauty. Only problem was, he had never kissed a girl before. A peck on the cheek or forehead not withstanding. He had never had a real kiss before. Jun Hee had wandered up while he was busy 'practicing' his kissing skills with his makeshift lips made of his thumb and index finger. It was embarrassing to be caught in such compromising situation.

_He lowered his hand, feeling heat travel from his toes up to his cheeks. She was perfect in her olive green dress that reached her knees in soft ruffles. Her hair was down, straight as he liked it, shining like a spotless mirror and here he was, standing with his bow tie hanging around his neck, in his socks, loving his hand. He was sure, someone out there was having fun at his expense. It seemed that Jun Hee would always catch him in such states. _

_"I can explain!" His voice came out as a squeak and he cleared his throat before averting his eyes. Bending, he took his time putting his shoes. Bronze toe nails filled his vision, and he traced the golden straps as it twisted and turned around fair soft-looking skin. Panicking as heat filled his hormonal and unstable body, causing blood to surge quickly and heatedly south, he tightened the laces, hoping for pain to distract him from his fantasies and not further embarrass himself. _

_"You know they say practice makes perfect!" Her voice was unusually soft and low unlike the strong assured tone they were used from her._

_Breathing deeply hoping she would not cast her eyes downwards and see his very much happy gun, he stands on shaky legs his hands going to the cuffs of his silk black shirt._

_"You know the most important thing when kissing a girl, after having her consent of course, is to let her know that she is beautiful by your kiss." She held his jacket in her hands, waiting to slip his arms inside the expensive Armani. Turning around she straightened the fabric, fixing the collar of his shirt before grasping the ends of his undone silver bow tie. _

_Her fingers were shaking slightly, and she hoped that he didn't notice. He smelled so good from this close, too. She kept her head slightly lowered, her eyes only on what she was doing. He was taller and he could see her curled lashes flutter against flawless and slightly blushing cheeks. Her lips shined and he licked his suddenly dry lips. He kept his hands to himself, fearing they would betray him if he touched her or hovered close to hers. She bit her lips as she concentrated on her task and his body tingled and his belly weird, some fluttering and it filled him with something warm, traveling, coursing through his blood._

_His head bowed so close to hers, his breath touching her ear lightly. "You look beautiful," he murmured against her ear. She was stunningly so and her hands stilled high on his chest, and he felt phantom scorching at his as if she imprinted her touch through the fabric into his flesh, marking him. He did not understand why he was so affected by her close proximity. He had seen in her bikinis and in short tight dresses, she was the star of many wet dreams of his. But this, in the softly lit room in his mansion, both fully dressed and he was not filled with lusty thoughts that warmed and hardened his male body. She was warming his fingertips, his belly and his chest. She was suddenly everywhere, in him, around him, too much that threatened to suffocate him. No, he wanted to shake his head, he was suffocating because she had tightened the bow tie and she was cutting off his oxygen, making him delusional with funny things. Things that shouldn't be. She was his best friend's sister, by extension very much close to be his own sister as well. He did not feel so brotherly at the moment._

_"Well, if it's any consolation, you look almost as pretty as me," she offered with a small smile._

_Silence stretched on and the spell was broken when he blinked. His hands came to life and he grasped her elbow tightly not dwelling on how small and fragile it felt, if he squeezed hard enough he could break it. _

_"Wait!" She looked at him and waited. He struggled and he felt himself choking on the words as he admitted his embarrassing fact._

_"I.. I've never really…"_

_"Kissed a girl?" she finished for him, and she smiled. He nodded, feeling that she was with in her rights to have a laugh at how innocent he was being._

_The next three words almost made him faint and he wondered if he needed to check his hearing because she didn't just…_

_"Want to practice?"_

_She watched his mouth and he held his breath._

_She stood still, with brown eyes wide open, and let his lips brush hers so lightly that his stomach hurt. When she didn't slap him nor tell him to stop because this was crazy and they just shouldn't, he brushed his lips against hers again, more surely. Even if it's crazy and they just shouldn't._

_Only at the third kiss he lets his tongue gently invade her mouth. The fact that she actually let him, and closed her eyes during the kiss would be freezing his muscles if his insides weren't melting._

_Her mouth was hot and her full lips were extremely soft and he had this urge to find out if all of her was that soft too._

"Damn it!" He cursed as more of their time together came to mind and he was not surprised that they were all on the R-rated moments. Their romance was sizzling hot and took them both by storm; wild and destructive. "Damn it!" He winced as he realized he was cursing in a chapel, again a wrong thing to do in such a holy place

"Err.. sorry ah God"

"God's forgiveness has no limits!"

Startled, he looked around. A row behind him he saw her. She was looking straight ahead, her face soft in the light reflected by the candles. She looked kind and peaceful and for a nun those things were normal he guessed. If only she knew why was he asking forgiveness for.

"I have noticed you sitting for a while here" Placing the scarf next to him, he twisted his upper half to face her in his seat. Falling into old habits, he put on his best smoldering look, letting a lazy smile stretch his face. "Why sister I am flattered you noticed me!" He gave her an outrageous wink, watching as a soft blush touched her round wrinkly cheeks. "Hush you devil," she wagged a finger at him as if scolding a young boy. "When people stay a long time in a church, it`s probable that they have some burden they need help with or looking for forgiveness they don`t think they have a right to ask."

Thoughts of Jun Hee and their thing as he decided to start calling it, vanished. Guilt soon filled him, guilt he decided he could only feel one night a year. He looked down and suddenly his hands were stained dark red, trembling violently and in an instant they were back to normal, clean and void of the sight of blood. A hand on his shoulder had him snapping out of thoughts, dark ones. "He can forgive things, you and I can never begin to understand!" With that he watched her go to the altar, lighting a candle and gazing at the cross. He felt like he was intruding on a very special moment and with that he collected the scarf and stood up. He was at the door when he heard her voice

_"I`ll pray for you child"_

**_The So mansion,_**

**_Yi Jeong`s studio..._**

Word of Yi Jeong`s behavior made it back to Hyun Sub. The ever present security detail following his youngest son reported every move he had made, more detailed at his request as he had yet to find out what the money was for or where it was at the moment. He knew Yi Jeong and with that knowledge he left him alone, the two black Jeeps on his tail. Three long hours of sitting on pins and needles waiting for him to show up and Hyun was about to tear Seoul looking for him. He had lost his eldest and Yi Jeong was the only thing he had left. Ara had left, he descended so the new So potter could take over and Il Hyung abandoned them. Yi Jeong was all that's left.

The door flew open and he stared at what he had hoped he'd never see. History looked to be repeating itself after all and the words he mouthed in a drunken haze came back to haunt him.

_"You're my blood Yi Jeong. One cannot fool its own blood!"_

It was Yi Jeong standing yet he was looking in the mirror at a version of himself. Raging and broken. A sight he prayed he'd never live to see. The perfectly styled spikes were a mess, sticking at different odd angles. The tie loosened and the expensive silk wrinkled. The shoulders were tense and his body looked coiled, ready to snap and what broke Hyun Sub were the eyes. Bloodshot and haunted.

He set the incomplete vase gently, well aware that it was the latest vase his son molded before his hand's injury. He dismissed the guards and watched them close the wooden doors as they left. Yi Jeong was still standing, his breaths shallow and loud in the silent room. Curling a hand around his arm, he pushed him into one of the benches, two empty glasses and a bottle of whisky materialized as if by some magic trick. Silently, three shots each were downed quickly, the fourth had Yi Jeong stare at it before letting out a hallowed chuckle, dark and empty before he gulped it down, hand almost shaking as it gripped the glass tight.

"Break it!"

He wanted him to, anything was better than this state of silence and emptiness. If he heard him, Yi Jeong choose not to and he sighed. He knew of Chu Ga Eul and her engagement, Yi Jeong`s efforts to win her back and where his son was this afternoon, at the shop where she worked and where he stormed out and driven off in a rage according to the reports he got.

"Or it'll break you!"

It had the desired effect. Sharply, Yi Jeong raised his head, eyes twitching. "I loved a girl once!"

Maybe it was his tone or just morbid curiosity but Yi Jeong leaned back, staring at him, a sign for him to continue.

"I met her when I was about your age. Ara Ji was," It left a bad taste in his mouth to use past tense when referring to Ara "She was my Ara! She would have made a better mother for you and brother!"

"Then why did you marry mother? Was your heritage worth more that your supposed eternal love? You let her go because you're weak!"

The slap never came and of that Yi Jeong was surprised. He had just disrespected his father, a man no matter how much he loathed, he was taught to respect even if he treated his wife like shit.

"I was weak. I let them take her away. I should have looked harder for her!"

He sat, trying not to think, not to _feel_ any fucking sympathy for the man opposite of him but as the tale went on, it got harder not to. It was getting harder not let unpleasant feelings of hatred be directed at his mother. She had victimized herself, seeking ,willingly, a loveless marriage with a man she took from another woman, from her friend. He supposed envy and jealousy erased any feelings of love and compassion between the two women who once grew up together.

The more his father talked about this Ara girl, the more he thought of Ga Eul and he did not want to. This afternoon had not gone as he had hoped it would. He was supposed to be back in his studio with her, talking, kissing, and just having her with him. Instead he was drinking with his father marveling how they were more similar that he had thought. He was taking comfort in the fact that Ga Eul was still drawing breath as minutes ticked by while Ara had taken her last twenty years ago.

He traced the rim of his glass as his father lapsed in silence reminisce and he fell into his own. The encounter still vividly fresh on his mind. Her words were finale, with no room to ever change. She had stunned him, pushed her dainty hand in his hard ribs, and circled the pumping muscle and she twisted and she looked so damn broken doing so, like it pained her like it did him and he knew it did and he had no fucking clue why she was doing the squeezing in the first place if it hurt her like it did.

_He searched for reasons but found none. When she moved towards the back he followed, possessed. His tie was impossibly tight as his lungs burned for air as if he had gone underwater for years. He felt a bottomless pit settle in his stomach and bile rose quickly. She had turned and her face was blotchy and her eyes were swimming with tears with both of them drowning. "It's best we don't see each other anymore!|_

_Her tone so finale, so cold and unemotional that he had no choice but to leave. He reached for her one last time ,the look in her eyes as she turned to face him made his heart freeze. There was a distance there that he'd never seen before. It was like she'd put a wall up between them, and wasn't about to invite him over to her side._

_She didn't look at him at all, and he felt an involuntary wave of anger at the way that she was treating him. Didn't she know how much he was hurting right now? Then he brushed away the anger-he couldn't stay angry with her for very long. Besides, she was obviously hurting, too. He just had no clue as to why. The debt was being paid and there was no need for that fiancé of hers._

_He hesitated for only a moment before pulling her into his arms, kissing her firmly, just trying to reassure himself that she wasn't lost to him. She responded for only a moment before breaking away from him, in tears again._

_"I'm sorry" she said with hands that were visibly shaking._

_"How trite," He snapped. He could see the hurt look in her eyes, but for once he didn't really care. He wanted to say worse, to scream and yell, and to tell her that what she'd done was the comparable of ripping his heart out and stomping on it. But he couldn't bring himself to do that to her. She was still the woman he lov..wanted so much, whether or not he knew what was going on in her head._

_He stared at her, suddenly feeling as though they were little more than strangers._

He stood, gathering the empty glasses and bottle, putting them in the sink before heading further in the studio, opting to use the shower he had instead of going in the main house, seeing his mother after the little revelation was something he was not ready for yet. The martyr he had fought for, the false crusade he battled was false as if he was cheering for the wrong team all his life. While he still blamed his father for getting his mother into this state, he had to admit that she was not so innocent as she made herself to be. She might as well have had that Ara killed herself.

He left a trail of clothes as he neared the master bathroom, pausing long enough to put his phone and watch on the nightstand before grabbing a towel. Soon the sound of water running drowned out the noises from outside and as he closed the door of his bathroom, the front door of his studio were opened.

When he stepped out, he had dried his body and dressed in another freshly cleaned and pressed suit. It wasn't until he was in the hallway that he heard it. Heard her. Her voice, conversing with his father, bidding him farewell and the sound of those fucking clicking heels. Hope filled him under the protests of his mind. She came. Maybe she changed her mind. Maybe she had wanted him after all. Maybe she still loved him as he was starting to…

"Be safe Ga Eul!"

He sprinted the short distance, catching his father coming back inside, closing the door behind him.

"Quiet the girl you have son!"

He bristled, not forgetting his father's comments on Ga Eul that dreadful night. He'd kill him before he laid on filthy hand on her. She was his.

_Mine._

"What did she want?"

"She wanted to return the money you gave her parents. But I insisted she accept the offer and she is anything but disrespectful. She was determined to pay off the debt herself.."

Fists curled and he almost snarled "If you touch her.."

"I thought you lost her and you're giving up?"

He played right into his hand and Hyun watch in fascination and pride as Yi Jeong stood up strong unlike himself. Maybe there was still hope that he won't suffer the same fate as he did.

**_Two days later_**

**_At the kiln…._**

He brought the blanket around her securely taking the fleeting seconds to inhale her scent and thrive in having her close. He had fought tooth and nail to get her to agree to come with him. And the fact that he begged did not wound his pride as the notion would once upon a time. It had the opposite effect. He was fighting to get something, _someone_ he wanted. He was done waiting for things to happen, for his hand to get better and for Ga Eul to come to him and break her own engagement. He was set on making both those thing happen.

The first step was his hand. Get the required surgery and then start the therapy needed so he could start doing what he was born to do. He had missed the feel of clay in his hands, molding and shaping to his heart's content. Second was to get back to Seoul and find out why was she determined to staying engaged to a man who was practically a stranger. As he laid in bed last night, turning down an evening of drinks from Woo Bin, he knew that he was thrusting things at her, demanding she do as he wished. He had told her to break off the engagement, he had demanded that they talk, he demanded and he demanded and she had given into him so many times until she stopped. The time away could give him the time he needed to organize and file his feelings. He wasn't going half assed in this battle. He had to strategize his moves as to how he can make headways with the stubborn beautiful mare. A quick call and a thorough background check was being conducted about her fiancé. His every move watched as of this very morning. Second, Ga Eul`s mother. She was his inside man... err woman in the Chu household and he was delighted in the fact that he was team Yi Jeong. She was confused as to why her daughter refused to break off the engagement even though the debt was paid with enough money to keep them living comfortably for months. Third, his own mother. After his conversation with his father, he started to pay more attention to her when she was alone and after two days worth of observation, he concluded that it was time to bring professional help, media be damned. Jun Marie was battling demons, serious ones from the looks of things and they were not Hyun Sub demons. They were old and vicious and he suspected there was more to it than his father's philandering ways or his brother's leaving them. And it didn't escape him how clingy she was being since news of his travels broke, more so as his flight neared.

"Do you want me to start with the bad news as well?"

She looked at him, wondering just what could more be that has not already happened to them, to her. She felt as if she was walking with a huge gap in her chest, open and bleeding. She was tired, losing weight and on the verge of being dehydrated from the tears she was crying.

"I am leaving!"

Her head was pounding and the blood rushed. Everything was buzzing and the fire of the kiln blurred. There was a rock in her throat and it hurt.

"Then again, it might not be such bad news for you."

How could he say that? It was horrible news, his words were like venom working its way through her body at a torturous pace and she felt everything.

"When? I mean how long?" she managed and her breath broke.

"Tomorrow."

She expected this, or some notion close to this. She figured that he'd leave, move on and forget about her. His sudden need for her would disappear and he would wake up realize that the world didn't stop for her and there were better things. _Better than her._ But guessing and knowing were two different things. It was really happening.

She looked down and her vision blurred by the tears and she didn't see him stand to kneel in front of her, not caring of the dirt ruining his expensive pants. His long fingers touched her clenched ones, unclenching them to intertwine them together with his. She watched as a tear dropped on the back of his hand. She wanted to cry, on his shirt, inside his arms. She needed so bad it physically hurt to sit still and deny herself that need. The need to feel him, kiss him, hold on to him, to _love_ him. If this was their goodbye, she wanted one last night with him, to fill herself of him yet knowing she'll always be starved for him.

The wind blew and the moisture of her tear felt cool against his skin. She was slumped and so very tiny in that blanket. He knew it was horrible to let her think he was leaving for good and not coming back. He wanted to see how much she loved him and how much she refused to let him see that she loved him. He wanted her to realize that he could leave, not that he would, that she might lose him.

Had he not been on his knees and merely squatting on his haunches, she would have knocked them both down to the ground. His arms wrapped instantly around her as she launched herself into him, and the desperation of her embrace made him soar with warmth and happiness. He buried his nose in her hair. She smelled of honey and rain. Of things he didn't have, of things he longed to have. He tightened his hold, matching the strength of hers, and her wild heartbeats echoed in his chest and her silent tears burned his skin.

He eased her, still keeping her close with one arm around her waist and the other cupping her cheek, the tips of his long fingers slightly in her hair, grazing her ear. Her forehead rested against his. Eyes closed firmly, her lips trembling and his eyes softened. Her violent reaction, her sadness over his leaving overwhelmed. No one would miss him like she would and in that moment he knew that no one would love him like she would.

Kissing her eyelids, feeling the tears that caught in her lashes, he pressed one on the tip of her nose, nuzzling her wet hot cheeks before bringing his lips to hers, not touching, just resting them there for a moment and the intimacy felt new, felt wonderful and he wanted it forever.

"I will be coming back, for you. Only you! I let you go once, and I am not letting you go again."

_He was coming back?_ Relief was short-lived as the thought of him tricking her filled her with anger. How could he toy with her like that? How could he make her beli—

Her mouth was opened to deliver what would be angry words and scathing insults so he did what he wanted to do every time he saw her. He kissed her. His hand disappearing more in her hair to cup the back of her neck to keep her in place. Even if she denied it till kingdom comes, her body betrayed her, her heart as well, because she kissed him and he noted with increasing delight that she had always kissed him back.

She just had to promise him to not get married while he was gone. He'll try to ask not demand.

_The things I'll do for you Ga Eul._

**_The day after Yi Jeong had flown to Sweden_**

**_The So private jet…._**

"Where are we going Mr. So?"

Hyun looked up from his newspaper and looked at the girl opposite of him. She reminded him so much of Ara. They had the same aura of innocence and fierceness that lured men like him and Yi Jeong to them.

"We are going to Sweden, Ga Eul. We are going to be there when Yi Jeong goes into surgery." He chuckled, seeing the horrified and panicking expression take over her in an endearing way. He failed himself and Ara, maybe he could save Yi Jeong from his fate.

_I`ll keep her safe for you son!_

_**~!Let's start over**_  
_**I'll try to do it right this time around.**_  
_**It's not over.**_  
_**'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.**_  
_**This love is killing me,**_  
_**But you're the only one.**_  
_**It's not over!~ **_


	10. Chapter 10

_**~! Now the story's played out like this**_

_**Just like a paperback novel**_

_**Let's rewrite an ending that fits**_

_**Instead of a Hollywood horror! ~**_

She twisted the hem of her shirt nervously. She sat, the very expensive and very comfortable love seat not offering any comfort. Opposite of her sat his grandfather, So Kyung Sung. Famous potter and owner of the Woo Sung museum. His eyes were like those of Yi Jeong; fathomless dark eyes, guarded and calculating. The only interaction taking place was when she bowed and greeted him when they arrived at the hospital. That was three hours ago. She was still processing what was happening. Not two days ago she was saying goodbye to him in Korea and here she was now in Sweden to see him courtesy of his father. So Hyun Sub, who was watching as the nurses, wheeled a sedated Yi Jeong. The room was in an organized chaos. Nurses arranging flowers and balloons from his friends and family members, ones back in Korea. A doctor still in his blue surgical scrubs was jolting down notes on a clipboard, rapidly barking orders in English. She had tried to understand but whatever English she knew were not enough but to get bits and pieces. 'Success' and 'Everything is great' was what she had gotten from the conversation he was having with his father and she sighed in relief, the look on Yi Jeong`s father and grandfather were similar to hers so that all she needed to understand that the procedure went well and he was ok… or going to be ok.

She remained seated on the couch, not sure what her place was in this situation. A friend, she concluded yet knowing that was far from true. His family came first and after that she'll make sure he was truly well. Seeing was believing after all. The suite the So family reserved for him during his stay and recovery was almost big and luxurious. Nothing but the best for the F4. His room was separated from the adjacent living room and balcony.

They wheeled the empty bed out, people exiting to leave her with the two older men. Closing the door to his room, Hyun Sub sat at the other end of the couch she was on, rubbing his tired eyes. She looked at him, had been doing so since the night in the studio. She only had one evening to compare him to. He wasn't as bad as Yi Jeong made him out to be that night in the restaurant. That man, according to Yi Jeong, was a cold heartless man, who cared so little about his wife and children. The man who offered her so much, who had shown at her house, asked her parents permission's to fly her off to see Yi Jeong, who had a kind almost wistful smile whenever he looked at her. A man who has been worried as they waited for news on his son.

"The surgery was successful. They were able to correct the damage to his nerves and tissues. With physical therapy, he'll have a 100% chance of full recovery."

The elder So let a small satisfied smile grace his face; the wrinkles around his eyes and mouth deepening before clasping a hand on his son.

"The So men are strong!" Then his eyes moved to land on her and she resisted the urge to fidget in her seat, yet his gaze was unnerving her much like his grandson's did.

"I've seen a picture of you!"

She blinked, slowly. His words were simple, straightforward yet she had trouble processing them. As far as she knew, her picture didn't make it on the internet or any magazine or tabloid. He hadn't been in the shop or at her house.

Hyun closed his eyes. He had hoped that the old man's memory wasn't sharp as it used to be and yet the sharp vault ensured the memories retained by his father were intact. Chu Ga Eul was a living breathing carbon of Ara Ji. They had the same eyes and hair color but so were most of the women in Korea. The resemblance didn't stop at that. The same fieriness burning in the depth of the innocent brown eyes. The same round fair face. The same warm inviting smile.

He prepared himself to correct his father before he blurted everything to the unaware girl. No use getting her tangled in their… _his_ drama. The truth would hit so close to home with her. A young rich man loving a commoner and ending up marrying a rich heiress. It sounded like one of fate's cruel jokes but it wasn't. No use making her feel that her and his son are bond to relive the past and walk the very same path of pain and heartache.

"Father, that's Yi Jeong friend."

"While her resemblance to Ara is uncanny, I have seen her picture in Yi Jeong`s wallet."

Kyung Sung looked at the small girl as her eyes widened then pink spread like wildfire to her round cheeks before she averted her eyes from them. She was such a childlike thing. The picture he had seen attested to that fact. As he opened the leather wallet to get Yi Jeong identifications to fill the paperwork, the worn out picture fell atop of the stack of papers in his lap. He had put it aside and picked up the small picture. The girl wasn't looking at the camera when the photo was taken. She was standing in a field of flowers, yellow ones. Her eyes closed, hair blowing back in the wind. The angle of the picture suggested that it was taken from a ground of a higher level than the field, from above. Being an artist meant that the photo was breathtaking. She had a resemblance to a girl he once met, at a time when his family was happy and well. But that girl had been dead for about a quarter of a centaury. He had put it back inside the wallet when the door opened and Yi Jeong stepped out in his hospital gown.

He had a picture of hers with him? Her mind whirled with thoughts and emotions. The only time he took a picture of her was when they were on that island and it had been saved on her phone not his and not once did he take the device so he couldn't have possibly sent to himself or had he? She shook her head slightly. She had to see it. See the picture and know why he had one of her?

"What's your name, child?" she looked at his grandfather before the question penetrated her buzzing mind.

"Chu Ga Eul, Mr. So" she bowed her head and watched as he stood up from his seat, his son following suit.

"I'll call his mother and tell her the good news since I know she's not aware that you're here. You go handle the rest of the paper work!" his voice firm and clear, indicating that his orders were always followed. He turned to her again; a strong firm hand grasped her shoulder.

"Chu Ga Eul, why don't you keep an eye on my boy until we're back?"

He didn't give her a chance to respond as he gripped his cane tightly and walked out of the room. His son, Yi Jeong`s father, looked at her and give her a smile that she supposed its purpose was to make her relax.

"My father can be "he paused, probably looking for a word to describe him without disrespecting him "imposing I know. We won't stay here long so go in and ease your mind before we leave. Make sure you're not caught" he gave her a wink, ruffling her head gently before following his father out, the door clicking shut softly.

She stared into the dim lights of the room, her eyes falling on his light face as her heart twisted fiercely. He was such at peace. His mouth relaxed not in its usual lazy smirk. Dark eyelashes resting on his cheeks. She listened to the soothing beep coming from the heart monitor on the other side of the bed and watched as his chest rose and fell with each breath he took. It was comforting in a way it let her know that he was still there. She wasn't exactly sure where everyone else was or what time it was, but she knew she had to keep watch. If she didn't, then the monitor would stop beeping, and then he wouldn't be there anymore. And she didn't want that. She needed him. She loved him. So she kept watch. It was ridiculous to be this obsessed with a heart monitor over someone who had a successful hand surgery. But she couldn't help it, the last time she was in a room similar to this, and she had stepped out of the room for a split second, the monitor beeped as the heart flat lined and her grandmother was gone. Just like that.

The soft lighting cast a warm glow on his otherwise pallid face; he had been asleep for the past hour. So far, according to what the doctors had, the surgery went really well and they were successful in repairing the damage to his hand. But she just couldn't believe them yet, wouldn't believe them, until he opened his eyes.

His lithe body was lying unmoving on the bed. His fingers lay perfectly still on the crisp cotton, sterile white sheet, and she immediately felt the need to entwine them with her own, and even in the deep sleep state he was in, she knew he would sense she was near him, trying to reassure him in her own way. His left hand was bandaged in white gauze, his long fingers covered completely all the way until only his blunt nails were visible.

She reached out a trembling hand and stroked his arm, tears pressing against her eyes. He looked so vulnerable and mortal. He always seemed larger than life to her. The sight reminding her when she had came to his room when his injury occurred. He didn't know she had seen him at his weakest. He had shown her enough already so she had decided to let him keep this air of invincibility he was determined to show.

The soft voice broke through her senses, and she lifted her gaze to his face. His eyes were open, their dark depths tired but alert and more beautiful than she ever remembered them being before. Her face broke into a relieved smile, and she squeezed his arm affectionately. His father's word the furthest thing on her mind. He wasn't supposed to see her or know she was here yet knowing she was the first one he saw after waking up was heartwarming.

"Hay" The one word was all she could manage, emotion choking her ability to speak.

"I think I must be in heaven," he murmured with a small grin "angels everywhere!" Even in his drugged state he was a playboy through and through.

A stubborn dark lock stuck to his forehead and before she was aware of herself, she brushed it back.

He smiled weakly, fingers moving lightly in her grip. "I am so tired" his speech barely raised enough for her to hear him, but his eyes stayed clear.

"Go back to sleep"

The less he saw of her, the more he can believe she was just a figment of his drugged imagination.

"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?" he whispered as his eyes closed again, his voice trailing off with his last word.

"Forever!"

_**Meanwhile in Seoul, Korea…**_

She was never a fan of parties. Not glamorous ones at least. She loved simple intimate gatherings of friends and family ironically the type the Gu never took part in.

Tonight's party was no different. No expenses held as her brother and his new 'lady friend' whom he had met at the hospital and one who thought he loved decided to throw a typical Gu shindig to announce important news. Then again her family only held such parties to announce some important news that was always bond to shake the lives of everyone. Jun Pyo`s engagement while the groom to be thought he was celebrating his birthday, unknowingly walking into a well crafted ambush by her cunning conniving mother. Her own engagement while she thought, silly of her to do so, that she was celebrating the success of her first fashion line. The man, poor as he was, was her first love and at eighteen her mother crushed the innocent dreams of a girl in love. It had taken her a year to snap out of the state her mother caused her to go through. It had taken Jun Pyo, his friends, and her love to draw to stand back on her feet and enroll back into college. But her solid pillar had been the most unlikely person. A sixteen year old Song Woo Bin, best friend of her brother's. the boy whom she had given him his first kiss, the one who used to take peaks inside her bedroom with another equally mischievous boy, So Yi Jeong. He had been what she needed. Fun, carefree and full of life. He had made it his mission to make her laugh as she made it hers when his mother passed away. He had said it was his turn to stand by her side, repay the debut he had.

She smiled, lost in what had been the best year of her life until her mother crushed her yet again.

Underneath his mask of carelessness was a sensitive soul; warm, kind and unbelievably generous. He had made her appreciate the little simplest thing there was. From fishing trips on small fishing boats, to going to carnivals that was void of rich people that would look down on the normal everyday people, eating from carts, playing games and winning cheap toys to their loved ones.

In the mirror she saw the first toy he had won for her as she ate cotton candy with her fingers. A plush panda that she had kept in her room in Korea. They both had been decked on what he called his 'commoner disguise' so they wouldn't be followed by crazy fans. He had taken them to a modest small clothes shop. After changing and paying, he had grabbed a baseball hat and had put her hair through the open gap at the back, tugging it down to hide her face, sighing dramatically.

"_No use. Even in a potato sack, you'll still be beautiful. Let's go"_

She didn't know why then but her heart had made a double irregular beat before resuming its normal rhythm. He had called her beautiful many times before, but in that moment with him in those ratty jeans and a boy band t-shirt, with her in a similar outfit, they felt like normal people. She felt like a normal girl, happy, with no worries about a future that set in stone for her and her brother. That she could do what she wanted, eat what she wanted and be who she wanted to be. She had felt free.

He had made her feel free.

He had tugged her hand and she had followed him since that day. He had never left her astray. She remembered clearly those days as if they happened last week not almost three years ago. She remembered his long arm around her shoulder, keeping her tucked to his side, worried that she might get lost, that had been his excuse when her eyes had looked up at him from underneath the rim of her hat, his own staring down at her from underneath a similar cap.

He had bought her the first cotton candy that didn't come in a clean plastic bag. It was on a wooden stick and it was blue. The rest of their day was a blur of rides, laughter and that heartbeat thing. No one knew of her blossoming connection to him. Ji Hoo had given them looks, yet said nothing. She trusted him not to say or hint at anything. She wasn't afraid of her brother or what he might think. She had just wanted something for herself that made _her_ happy.

"You should wear it more often!" she opened her eyes and wasn't surprised to see him standing behind her, his reflection filling her mirror.

"A fancy dress?" his eyes looked at what she was wearing. She had gone bold and choose the cheery red dress that always hung in the back of her closet in its protective bag. She had planned on wearing it after the party where they had celebrated the success of her couture line. He had sent her a text. An address and time with a short message. _Dinner. Wear a dress ;)_

She had planned to wear it then, for him. The first dress she bought to impress him. Their plans didn't happen. She was announced to marry the son of a future business partner. her father wasn't of help, not there was any force to change her mother's mind, not when she threatened to ruin the unworthy man she once loved. She had met him, where he was desperate for answers and she had none. Forced to send him away, the dress remained in the back of the closet where he remained in the back of her mind.

It was a simple dress, bought from a simple shop. Thin black straps held the dress. The neckline modest, as the fabric stretched over her body, hugging her narrow waist, cradling the flare of round hips lovingly. It rested an inch over her knee. It wasn't expensive or heavily decorated. It wasn't sewn by blind nuns in Italy. It was a simple dress, worn by a simple girl to a date.

"Your smile!"

He didn't say anything else and she was grateful. She knew they had to talk. Had she not kissed him, there wouldn't been any need to have one. But she did and she didn't regret it. Still she was still married, unhappily so, and he was…

"Party about to start. Shall we?" he offered her his elbow and she turned. Some things never changed. His bowtie was crocked and he shrugged when she saw it.

Tugging it to the side, she smothered the silk shirt, linking his arm with his. She saw him eye her left hand that was nestled in the crock of his, her wedding ring a blaring warning to stay away.

She found herself following him as he tugged her.

_Yes. Some things never really change._

Close to a month has passed and So Yi Jeong was counting the days where he could go back home. Sweden was a beautiful country, it offered peace and quiet to those who sought them. He flexed his fingers, enjoying how they moved with ease, no trace of pain and no aching nerves. The surgery had been successful followed by an equally successful physical therapy where he learned to move his fingers and hand again, to twist, to clench, and to turn; things one can take for granted. When he first clenched his fist without grunting or tearing up, his grandfather had brought him a small ball of soft clay. He had been fearful to take it, scared that his progress was just a figment of his imagination, just like she was.

To this day he still believed she was there in the room with him when he first woke up. Fuzzy and blurry her image was but there was no mistaking the voice, or the jolt he got only from her.

His only visitor aside from his grandfather was his father, who stayed until he finished his surgery and two days later when his mother joined him. That was what his grandfather had told him when he asked, according to him again for the 'pretty angel'.

"_you mean the one in the picture?"_

He had expected a lecture, a reminder that this sort of thing was frowned upon, that his future was set to happen in the coming years. Nothing was said further than that inquiring question about the pretty girl nor was the picture torn to shreds in the nearest garbage can. It was still there, behind his driving license. He checked everyday, fearing the only hard physical proof of her existence would be gone if he didn't check for it everyday. Her beautiful face was an added bonus, if he was being truthful.

"I am leaving tomorrow Yi Jeong. I must prepare for your return and your birthday party"

He looked at his mother as she walked beside him. She had been a mother. Caring, hovering, and forcing him to eat more of this and less of that. He nodded, touching another trinket from the stand they were next to. The open market in the streets of Grums; a rural town somewhere in Sweden was an experience itself. No one knew him here. No screaming girls, no clicks of cameras and peace. People treated him like a normal foreign tourist. He had never thought he'd enjoy being ignored or looked over as a normal man, not So freaking Yi Jeong. Then maybe if they stayed back at the capital, more people there would know who he was. his grandfather had instead on relocating to spend the rest of their stay here, enjoying peace and appreciating the local art this town had to offer.

"Just don't go overboard mother. Family and close friends."

He walked ahead, inspecting different stands with what they were showing. He stopped at a table at the end of the aisle he was walking, taking in the random things being showcased. It was small and had he not been focused he would have missed it.

He reached for it, holding the silver chain up for inspection. The pendant swung back and fro, the mix of orange and purple appealing to his artistic eye.

"Autumn leaves mean strength."

He looked at the middle age woman, her English broken yet he managed to understand her.

"Autumn leaves hold strong to trees against the harsh wind of the nearing winter. They fall to rise again. Do you know such person?"

"Yes, I do"

"Handsome boy always have handsome girl waiting home!"

"She is at home but I don't know if she's waiting for me!"

He didn't stop to think why it was easy to tell a complete stranger about him and Ga Eul. Ga Eul, it meant autumn. _That girl is everywhere I go._

"You give her this and you say how much you love her and how much she has to be strong to love a fool like you"

Laughing, he handed her the necklace, reaching for his wallet to take out his money.

"Show me a picture of your Autumn!" she put it in a small bag, it was old and worn but seeing her it was probably the best she had around.

He pulled the picture careful not to let his mother see him. She was three tables behind him, trying on different scarves.

"You be good to her or I come to your country and beat you with a stick" she handed him the photo back, placing the small bag in his hand, curling it around the objects inside.

"You be strong too. You hold tight too!"

Her hand, despite being old, was strong as it gripped his. He looked at her and nodded, her smile telling him that he reacted just right.

"Now I tell you a story about the necklace. A long time ago a man loved a woman strong. They married and loved each other. When the war started, he was a soldier and he was called to fight. They cried for days. Before he left he gave her this Autumn and said…"

Three tables away, Jun Marie watched her son converse with an old woman, immersed in her animated movement and talk. She took out her phone, walking further away from him.

After the third ring the call was picked up.

"I am returning to Korea soon. Yi Jeong won't stay here much longer, not as much as I would have liked"

"_What do I do, Mrs. So?"_

"Hurry up with your plans and fix this mess. The sooner it all ends the better for everyone, do you understand?"

"_Yes I understand!"_

"I hope you realize how important all of this to me, to you. You hold your end of the deal and I'll hold up mine!"

"_I'll fix it."_

"See that you do, Yoon Jae!"

_**~! Someday, somehow**_

_**Gonna make it alright but not right now**_

_**I know you're wondering when**_

_**You're the only one who knows that! ~**_


	11. Chapter 11

**_~! Could I hold you for a lifetime  
Could I look into your eyes! ~_**

Another week has passed and life in Seoul continued. People went to work or school, shopping malls bursting with customers, birds flew, clouds passed and the feeling of a huge gap missing somewhere in her chest only intensified.

She was back in Korea for five weeks now. She resumed her school life, attending classes and taking notes, putting all efforts in the last remaining weeks of her high school life to get good grades in her finale exams before starting her college life, if she was lucky enough to get into one.

As days were ticked off her calendar with a big red 'X', the reality of her impending nuptials began to sink in more and more along with the preparation for her life with Yoon Jae. The plans were to live in his parents house until they could save enough money to buy a home of their own and of that she was thrilled as the idea of living alone with him wasn't something she wanted to do; ever. Invitations were in three boxes inside her closet to be handed out to her family and friends. Several trips to the malls and boutiques and two suitcases where filled with clothes, from dresses to socks, with several items dedicated for her wedding night and honeymoon with one Lee Yoon Jae.

The man she was weeks away from being tied to was as close to what she had imagined her future husband and soulmate would be like. He was good looking, she couldn't deny that fact. He was caring, having seen him with his parents and his little sick sister, his gentle nature assuring that he would make a wonderful father someday. He shared her love of parks and rain. In short he would have been the perfect match to her. The Chu Ga Eul from a year and half ago, the one who had yet to meet her soulmate, the one who had yet to meet So Yi Jeong.

So Yi Jeong. Potter prodigy and playboy extraordinaire.

He was her soulmate.

He was, even if fate had decided they remain separate from one another, same as Jan Di and Ji Hoo.

She could still remember her visit to him in the hospital, how tired he looked and how he smiled when he saw her near his bed. It occurred to her that Yi Jeong was but a young boy seeking assurance, seeking love in the most basic forms. Love he lacked at home and from people who were supposed to love him unconditionally, his very own family. True to her promise, she hadn't married while he was gone, and even with the lack of promise, she wasn't sure she would. It was her in her nature to fight until the last possible second, to believe that somehow this situation, this unfortunate luck of her would magically end at the last possible second. She had to hold out until before she would have to say 'I do'. She owed her heart that much.

An endearing blush crept up on Jan Di`s face, whatever Jun Pyo had said on the phone, it made the tough tomboy revert back to her girly girl origin. After the pool incident at Jun Pyo`s party, he had regained his memories of Jan Di, their time spent together and the love he held for her. The two had fallen back into old patterns of bickering and being two goofs in love and Ga Eul couldn't be happier for her sister, because that's what Jan Di was to her. They both deserved every bit of happiness that was coming their way.

With Jan Di struggling in her own school to get grades high enough to enable her to enter the Medicine program, the two childhood friends had so little time to catch up and talk to each other. on their day off, they had locked themselves in Ga Eul`s room and had been there since morning. They had talked about everything and anything. From Jun Pyo`s plan to go to the United States to finish his education and head over his company's branches overseas, trying to bring Shinhaw back on top after the losses they have incurred. From Ji Hoo`s plans to join Jan Di to become a doctor as well, to Woo Bin`s plans to join the army even though the F4 have enough influence to get out of this mandatory enlistment.

She had left Jan Di on the phone as she started to get ready for their afternoon appointment at the shop. Her mother along with Yoon Jae`s would be accompanying them as well, with Jae Kyung to join them as soon as her plane touched down.

With a heavy heart she dressed as she had never imagined this day would come so soon, with the wrong person. She was going to buy her wedding dress to be worn to a man she didn't love.

She twisted to the right and then to the left, examining the dress in her reflection, trying to fault it, to find an excuse to stall the visit to the wedding shop. It was flawless but then again so was the taste of the Lee family. Her in-law weren't filthy rich like the Gu or the So family, but they lived comfortably and dressed such. Her father in-law worked as a gardener for a very wealthy family for almost thirty years now and he had been saving ever since his first day. The dress along with several others with their respective shoes and handbags were courtesy of Yoon Jae and his family for her last days as a single woman. In the back of her closet hung a garment bag that contained her graduation prom gown along with shoes, bag and accessories, an event set to happen six weeks from now.

Jan Di`s face appeared over her left shoulder and the two life long friends looked at their reflections in silence, each lost in her own thoughts.

"I am sorry!"

It was so quiet that Ga Eul almost missed it. She turned around and looked at the downcast face of her friend. She knew what Jan Di meant, and in all honesty she had never placed blame on Jan Di for the lack of fortune as of late in her life. It wasn't intentional on her part and Jan Di hadn't foreseen what would have happened to Ga Eul because she had decided to climb Mount Gu Jun Pyo.

"If it wasn't for that evil woman, your father would still have his job and you wouldn't have to marry a stranger. It's my entire fault Ga Eul!"

She kept mum and hugged her tormented friend tightly. She felt Jan Di`s arms wrap around her in a bone-crushing embrace. It was true that Jun Pyo`s mother had her father fired due to her relationship with Jan Di whom the former was trying to destroy and keep away from her son, it wasn't her fault that she had been forced to marry Lee Yoon Jae.

That blame rested elsewhere.

She wanted to tell Jan Di that, give her some peace of mind of the crushing guilt Jan Di was expressing but she didn't know how much she could say and what were the consequences of anyone else finding out. She'd rather shoulder it herself and let everyone she cared about in the dark. It wouldn't do anyone any good to dig around and about in things that were better left alone. So far everyone was unaffected except herself and Yoon Jae.

She would have preferred if he hadn't said anything to her about anything. That he remained the nice man who wanted to help her family, that his reasons for stepping up weren't previously meditated, that his moves weren't studied and calculated to appear in their time of need. She would have preferred that his reasons remained selfless in her eyes instead of utterly selfish.

She remembered the day he had picked her up from school, the same day Yi Jeong offered to buy her freedom back and return it to her. After lunch in her school uniform, they had sped to a hospital where Yoon Jae`s thirteen year old sister was occupying a bed. She had been battling with a heart disease since born; a birth defect that she had no control over. She could feel her own healthy heart squeeze painfully as she remembered Yoon Ha and her bright smile. Her face was ashen and her body looked so small swimming in hospital gown and white sheets yet the sparkle didn't diminish as she declared Ga Eul her 'Unnie'. It had been obvious that she adored Yoon Jae to death and looked up to him to protect her and keep her safe. It was after they were seated in the park next to the hospital that Yoon Jae had laid all the cards for her to see.

She had remained silent as he told her of Yoon Ha upcoming heart transplant surgery, that after thirteen years of looking, a matching donor had been found; a young woman that had three months left to live had been heaven sent and agreed to do the surgery. The price had been ridiculously high it was then when he had been offered enough money to cover the hospital charges and fees and continue medical treatment to Yoon Ha if needed in the future and all he had to do was marry a girl by the name of Chu Ga Eul; failing to do so, no money would be paid to do the surgery to his little sister. The mastermind had been no other than Jun Marie, the wife of one So Hyun Sub and dotting suicidal mother of the man she loved, So Yi Jeong. The daughter of the family where Yoon Jae`s father and his late aunt worked.

The refusal to continue with this farce of a marriage was on the tip of her tongue when she remembered Yoon Ha, an innocent girl in the midst of all this. She felt shackles of guilt clasp around her ankles as she prepared herself to say no, and walk away dragging weights of guilt whenever she went, remorse wrapping around her much like a scarf would and she might as well carry the blood of an innocent child on her hands. She would curse herself for being a martyr, but it was who she was, and Ga Eul refused to have anyone suffer from the results of her selfish actions. It had been decided that their marriage would be in name only and within a year, she would file a divorce after Yoon Ha had had her surgery and was on the recovery road.

Meanwhile she had to play it to the end, refuse Yi Jeong and marry Yoon Jae.

She took a step back and wiped the stubborn tear on Jan Di`s face before clasping the other girl's hands in hers.

"Ga Eul?"

"Hmm?"

"Just don't have me wear canary yellow, ok?"

She heard the honking from outside and dragged the girl with her, laughing as they went not seeing the vibrating phone under her pillow, _'Yi Jeong'_ flashing repeatedly.

He sighed as the third call went unanswered as well. He was anxious, nervous and could barely contain his excitement to see her after a month of staring at whatever pictures Woo Bin`s men had sent for him while recovering in a small village in Sweden.

The private jet hanger offered privacy from the rest of people in the airport. Their bags were being loaded in the cars as he and his grandfather neared his father and his mother, both of whom had came to welcome him home in separate cars. Even if it had been less than week that his mother had left him and went home to plane his return as well as his twentieth birthday party, as soon as he reached them, Jun Marie sighed happily before enveloping him in a tight hug, her satin-gloved hands brushing his hair and the nape of his neck. He couldn't help but feel off at his mother's late display of affections, her looks, her words and her constant habit of touching him, brushing his cheeks, pressing a kiss to his temple as he slept or when she thought he had been sleeping. Something was up with his mother, and he needed to find out what it was, least he be surprised at the end if he didn't do something now.

He gave a curt nod to his father who responded with one as well before the older So tossed him something in the air, with his quick reflexes he had caught them with his left hand, the one that had been paralyzed when he left Korea.

A car that now had his grandfather inside gunned its engine and left. The black limo was hiding a gem behind it. His eyes rounded and a smile lifted the corner of his lips as his baby stood shining in the sun, calling out to him. Soon his mother and father left in their respective cars and he was left alone with the orange Lotus.

He approached her, his hand caressing its fiery body and flawless paint and he imagined if the animated car were to come to life, it would be purring in delight at the attention he was bestowing upon her.

He unlocked the car and slid inside, the leather seats just as soft as his silk suit. He gripped the steering, his foot pressing on the gas pedal softly, hearing the engine roar to life.

He waited as a text with an address was sent to his phone before steering the car towards his destination.

"Now, let's go to see my other baby!"

The smile on his face vanished. His stomach knotted and he felt as if being bathed in ice cold water. His eyes glued to the scene behind the clear glass front of the shop where he stood.

Three women he knew were smiling and genuinely having a good time, a middle aged woman was with them, smiling just as happily. Jan Di, Jae Kyung and what he hoped to be his mother in-law someday were standing with their backs to them along with that strange woman with them. They were looking ahead and he had to admit, the view was worthy of having every available set of eyes trained at it.

She was beautiful; breathtakingly so. She glowed; a healthy shine of pure innocence.

The ivory white of her dress bathed her in an ethereal airy light, and she looked as if a goddess had breathed life inside of flesh host worthy of its divine entity. The beaded neckline hugged the still blossoming flesh of her breasts, plunging slightly to offer a hint of creamy cleavage. It enveloped her tiny torso in a tight white cocoon before flaring slightly over her hips, the mix of satin and chiffon draping softly over her petite frame, reaching the floor in soft waves, giving the illusion of walking atop of fluffy white clouds.

She turned to model it to the women gathered around her, and the back was just as stunning as the front. Her back was covered in sheer chiffon, all the way down to her small back, sparkling beads adorned the fabric in a pattern that looked like two angel wings had been strapped to the middle of her back. It was true. She was an angel. The dress was a painful reminder that she wasn't his.

_"You be strong too. You hold tight too!" _

The strong voice of the old woman filled his head and his resolve came back. It wasn't too late. It would never be too late. He was determined and willing to fight to the very last minute, until she said I do, she was not lost, she was still here and she was still his air.

His breath stuttered in his chest like a forlorn whimper and his lungs felt on fire, like he went days without taking a breath, a proper life-bringing breath. He ached to grasp his chest, rub away the impossible tightening. In a moment of panic he feared he would die from lack of air and he would drop to his knees, behind a glass window on the outside looking in.

He watched as sales girls escorted the rest of the women each to a separate changing room with a dress to try on, leaving the bride to be on her own, staring at her reflection in the floor length mirror, a hand above her left breast, eyes closed.

He mirrored her actions, uncaring of the attention he was probably getting despite his poor attempt at covering his identity.

He felt the pain disperse and he took a greedy gulp of air to sustain his burning lungs. In the scarce moments where Ga Eul was on her own, he entered the shop, his legs eating at the distance separating them. She still had her eyes closed and with a tug and a loud 'whoosh' he brought them inside the dressing room where he saw her exit from moments ago.

She didn't scream nor open her eyes and when he kissed her, she let out the breath she had been holding into their kiss and he took the air she offered so freely into his body, relishing in the breath of life she just breathed into him, the last act to bring him from his darkness and loneliness. He had mistaken wind to be his air before. But he knew the difference now. Eun Jae had breezed around him, breathing light on the things he brought into the darkness, content to remain in the light while he remained in the darkness. Ga Eul breathed in him, literally. She brought him from his darkness into her light.

The saltiness of her tears mixed between their moving lips. His thumbs brushing the damp path on her soft cheeks, tilting his head to taste more of her, to take more of her.

Her hands remained idle by her side, afraid if they moved to touch him, he would disappear like a mirage and she would wake up from her dream. She continued to squeeze her eyes shut, the only thing daring to move where her lips, moving with his as he pleased, accepting the pressure.

She clamped her lips shut, afraid to cry out when his mouth left hers. She daren't say word afraid to ruin her dream.

He rested his forehead against her own, noses touching, inhaling the breath she was exhaling, getting his needed air from her. She was shaking, her hands trembling by her side and he gripped them tight, pressing kisses inside her palms before pressing them on his chest to feel the erratic thudding of his heart.

They remained there as the back of his knuckles grazed her cheeks, down her jaws to wrap around the back of her neck, to keep her from bolting.

"Hi!"

His voice washed over her senses. He was here, he was back and he had really kissed her.

"Hey!"

He smiled, hearing the slight tremors in her tone. He waited until her lashes fluttered before her eyes shyly rose up to greet him. They were still bright from her earlier tears, but they were happy and tormented at the same time.

"I missed you"

He felt her body stiffen and was ready to block her retreat. "It's ok; you don't have to say anything. I just really want you to know how I feel. I spent a long time telling what I am **not** feeling and now it's time to say what I do feel."

"Yi Jeong now isn't the time to ta-"

"I love you Chu Ga Eul. I think I loved you for a long time now!"

**_Meanwhile…_**

Jun Hee could have kicked herself for being so narrow minded. It never occurred to her in her three weeks search to look for him here.

She opened the old rusty door with a grunt, looking around her to see if anyone was following her. If he had gone to great length to cover his whereabouts, she didn't want to be the one to bring death knocking along with her. Satisfied that nothing was out of place, she pushed her way inside, closing the door; its groan of protest telling her it was in desperate need of oiling and that it hasn't been regularly used.

She walked up the familiar steps, blindly knowing how many flights of stairs to take. She had been here before, numerous times. It had been their place, where they met away from prying eyes, namely the ones that belonged to her mother. For close to a year, it had been their nest; a place not even his F4 friends knew of. The building consisted of an underground garage, a gym floor and the loft. The loft itself almost took up the whole floor, with a small narrow hallway that lead to the loft. The roof was accessible through the loft itself with iron stairs at the back of the art room.

The hallway's lights were dim, offering poor lighting to the narrow passage. She felt nervous; the scene looked like one in those thriller movies, where the lead was walking into a certain death. She shook the feeling, chalking it off to being in the dark of the whereabouts of one Song Woo Bin for three weeks now.

What was a Gu party without some shocking events? Her engagement, her brother's, Jun Pyo decision to leave to the US, Jan Di drowning to Jun Pyo regaining his memories of Jan Di. It was never a dull moment. She could still remember the tense atmosphere at the party. With the absence of Yi Jeong, the friends were at opposite ends, with Ji Hoo and Woo Bin at Jan Di`s side with Jun Pyo stubbornly standing across from them. She had stood by Jan Di until she caught the bleached head of her husband making his way into the party, his gait wobbly and it had been obvious he had started the party earlier than the rest.

Ignoring the questioning looks, she made her way to him, cutting his path. She dragged him away from prying eyes and ears and he followed, his drunken state not allowing him to put up much of a fight. They had argued. Whatever nasty thing he said she dished right back at him with equal venom and when, in a fit of rage, he called her a whore and raised his hand to strike her face, she had felt paralyzed, her shock rendering her still to receive the stinging slap. It had never come.

Her husband's hand was caught in an iron grip and a glowering redhead man stood in front of her small frame. The cowered being she had married had started cursing at the intruder, calling her some colorful names before a fist caught his jaw, the loud meeting of knuckles and jaw bones deafening and almost bone crushing.

They had remained still while watching the other man scurry with his tails between his legs, threatening to tell her mother of what happened.

_"He doesn't deserve you. He never did!"_

And he had left her standing in the wake of what was left of her marriage of convenience. The two weeks that followed they had seen each other from afar, shared silent meals with her brother and his girlfriend while her mother and father went abroad to start her father's physical therapy. When he failed to show up for dinner three days in a row, she had casually inquired Ji Hoo about it and the silent wonder offered little to no help, all he had said was the Woo Bin was well and that he was busy with work.

She knew the type of work he was involved in. Mafia work and that was what worried her. Whatever it was, it was big for him to drop off of the face of the earth. Three weeks worth of search and she had finally found him… or so she hoped.

She reached the door, the blue paint was chipped at the corners just like she remembered and the brown doormat was the same. It wasn't full of dust. It looked clean.

He was here, behind door number one.

She knew she still loved him, the nervous flutters in her stomach; the erratic beats of her heart whenever he was around were just as strong as before.

She took her own key, the one he had given her and put it in the lock. It still jammed like before. Everything was still the same, from their place to the very core of their feelings. Slowly, she pushed it open and it creaked in protest. Darkness was filling the open loft and her eyes narrowed hoping to see a sign of life. Seeing and hearing nothing, she sighed and closed the door behind her, and it clicked loudly. She, blindly, reached for the light switch by the door and she felt the air shift.

The time it took for her eyes to adjust was the same time it took her to realize she was pressed into the door a hand around her mouth, with a gun pressed to her temple.

His chest ached as he panted both in pain and rage. It had taken him long to hear the sound of footsteps nearing his door and it had been too late to see who it was on the monitors he had installed. So he had waited, his gun loaded; taking advantage of the darkness to lay still until whomever came to finish the job was inside his place. When the lock turned and it was clear that someone either had a key or was picking the lock to gain access, he shifted closer, in his mind knowing that only two people had keys to this place, so it had to be a foe rather than a friend. He braced himself, knowing he would be in a world of pain later, that if he survived whatever was coming. The dim light from the hallway bathed the intruder. He sneered at having a woman sent to take him out of the game. Whomever sent her was mocking him and his abilities. He heard the sigh and she closed the door. He took the scarce seconds to move closer, not seeing how she knew where to hit the light switch. The loft was bathed with light and he had her against the door, trapping her with his heavy injured body. A hand on her mouth and he pressed the barrel of his gun into her temple, finger hovering over the trigger.

When he saw her, he stumbled back, horrified and disgusted in himself. Never had he raised a hand on a woman much less a gun and much less the woman he loved.

She moved to him, her hands grasping the only place not covered with white gauze, his bare biceps. They flexed beneath her grip. She took in the tight wrap around his lean torso, the large bandage that covered his shoulder and a portion of his back and the busted lower lip. He looked like narrowly escaped with his precious life.

Guilt was soon replaced by anger, anger at her for seeking him out, for knowingly putting herself in harm's way.

"Jesus Christ Jun Hee! I could've killed you"

She didn't mistake the anger he voiced as anger at her but for her. He had a protective streak, a strong need to see that those he loved were safe. It was overwhelming to know someone treasured her that much, loved her that much.

Her hands traced over his imperfect features, lightly touching the scraps on his face, the angry split on his lower lip. Her hand stopped at the beginning of the wrap around his torso, before bringing her eyes to meet his. His reddish hair was in disarray, like he rolled out of bed seconds ago.

"What happened?"

He took a step back, putting the safety back on before putting his gun on the counter nearby. He padded barefoot inside and she followed after locking the door twice, sliding the golden chain in place. He was wearing nothing but black pants, the bandage on his right shoulder blade slightly colored red, indicating it needed changing and soon.

She changed her route and entered the kitchen area, putting her bag and keys aside, she opened the cupboard above the sink, getting the rectangle box of first aid with her, following him in the spacious living area.

The TV was muted and the big leather couch was turned into a bed. Several bloody rags and bandages filled the small trashcan. The coffee table was swimming with takeout boxes and empty cans of drinks, several Soju bottles along with other alcoholic drinks. It was a mess and it looked like he hadn't left the place for the three weeks he had disappeared.

"I have been on house arrest." He tried to excuse the mess.

"It's fine, nothing a little cleaning won't fix."

"Well as you can see I am not fit to do anything!"

She moved to sit next to him, his eyes going from her face to the kit in her lap and back before offering his back to her.

Silently and carefully she pulled the bloody gauze away, wincing at the dry blood and the red irritated skin that surrounded a healing hole at the size of a small coin. A bullet wound.

She cleaned the dried blood, apologizing when he winced or groaned in pain. A minute later she was tapping the new clean gauze in place of the old one. Another minute and the one on his chest where the bullet went through was changed.

His arms wrapped around her frame, as she laid her head on his left shoulder. They tightened when he heard her whispered words.

_"You can't leave me!"_

**_~!Could I hold you close beside me  
Could I hold you for all time!~_**

* * *

I appreciate everyone who waited for me to update. I know as a reader myself I want the author to update daily. Realistically that is not possible. I don't have a scheduled update, like every week or every two. I update whenever I have time to sit down and write something decent. I have a job and school and social life like any other person. I would love nothing more than to sit and write forever but I can not do that. I appreciate all of your reviews and always reading my stuff and I love you all for it. Just have in mind that I am human at the end of the day.

Thank you for your patience.

-Sam


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